Today, we're finally at an age where my wife will try to negotiate how old she has to admit to being. It’s ridiculous. At her last doctor's appointment, she was asked her age, she’s 52 but claimed to be only 40, and I had to argue her up to admitting to 48. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, I overheard my younger coworkers discussing my age. They said, “How old is she? Some days she looks like she's 35 and other days she looks like she's 58!” FML
Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML
Today, my wife is mad because some kid in a store offered her the seniors' discount and she got offended. I had to tell her she’s 66 years-old and is actually entitled to that discount, so she should calm the hell down. She’s not spoken to me in over 24 hours. FML
Today, I almost got in trouble at work, all because I inadvertently referred to a 19 year-old patient’s 47 year-old husband as her father. I didn’t know this until she got so upset that she threw a tantrum, filed a complaint against me, and requested another nurse. FML
Today, someone tried to guess my age. They guessed 45, then 39. I'm 35 and just spent $20,000 on plastic surgery to make myself look more youthful. FML
Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend renewed his driver's license and showed me the picture. I told him he needed to go back because they'd put the wrong birthdate. Turns out the idiot forgot he’s been lying to me about his age the whole time we’ve been together. He’s not actually 30. He’ll be 43 in two months. FML
Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML
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Top comments
dreams2383 20
I don't know why women do this. I'm happy and proud I'm getting old.I know I'm smarter then I used to be and I embrace aging. I may not be the 105lbs I was when I met my husband but I'm still the same person just the better 5.0 updated version. maybe tell her shes better the older she gets. or tell her people think it's weird she says she's younger because she doesn't look 40.
Yudith 28
Never lie to a guy who has a photo of your ID in a folder with your most embarrassing medical secrets.
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Comments (2)
dreams2383 20
I don't know why women do this. I'm happy and proud I'm getting old.I know I'm smarter then I used to be and I embrace aging. I may not be the 105lbs I was when I met my husband but I'm still the same person just the better 5.0 updated version. maybe tell her shes better the older she gets. or tell her people think it's weird she says she's younger because she doesn't look 40.
Yudith 28
Never lie to a guy who has a photo of your ID in a folder with your most embarrassing medical secrets.