The planets made me do it
Today, my sister wrecked my car, then blamed it on, "Mercury being in retrograde." FML
Today, my sister wrecked my car, then blamed it on, "Mercury being in retrograde." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML
Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML
Today, my mom's boss reversed into my parked car. She expects me to say that it's my fault so she doesn't have her insurance increase. FML
Today, a woman rear-ended my car. She's trying to sue me for 'emotional damage'. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Then all you have to do is sue Mercury. Call Jim Adler, the Texas Hammer. If he can make big insurance companies pay, he can surely get money out of a planet. Who told that planet to start going backwards? It's an open-and-shut case.
gagus123 25
Sounds like something my girlfriend could’ve done. Luckily she doesn’t have a drivers license.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
Then all you have to do is sue Mercury. Call Jim Adler, the Texas Hammer. If he can make big insurance companies pay, he can surely get money out of a planet. Who told that planet to start going backwards? It's an open-and-shut case.
gagus123 25
Sounds like something my girlfriend could’ve done. Luckily she doesn’t have a drivers license.