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Catfishing for fun

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got tired of my girlfriend always leaving the conversation when we chat, so I changed my number and email address, and texted her under a different name. We talked for hours non stop. Should I tell her it's me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 142

It's the new sensation sweeping the nation

By Anonymous - 22/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I came home to see five teens, my kitchen counters covered in an assortment of greens and berries, and a camera. They were filming themselves stuffing their faces for what they called the “leaky butt challenge”, trying to see if any of them caught the bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 95

That thing you do

By Here we go - 14/02/2026 12:00

Today, after sex, my wife of three months said, "You know, sex isn't as good now that we're married… Maybe we should take a break." I said we should spice things up. She said, firmly, "No, let's stop" and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 73

Body issues

By Anonymous - 27/05/2026 09:00 - South Africa - Brakpan

Today, while I'm in the depths of postpartum blues and insecurities, my grandmother in-law gifted me a size 22 pair of jeans that does not fit her. I'm a size 12. I started crying and fake choked so that nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 86

Squishy or non-squishy?

By Rune - 09/02/2026 09:00

Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 110

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 16/02/2026 15:00

Today, someone said not to speak to them like I'm "better than them." I asked how they would like me to speak; I couldn't figure out the problem. The response I got was, "Speak to me like you speak to your lord." Am I the idiot? I wasn't even the one who initiated the conversation to begin with, nor did I intend for beef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 70

Little bundle of fluff

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 22:00

Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 115

Simply having a wonderful Xmas time!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 09:00

Today, I came home and told my husband that I got my own Christmas present so he would have something to give me at the family gathering. He asked me if it was wrapped. I said it was. He said, "Nice." No follow up questions at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 131

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 00:00 - Switzerland - Klingnau

Today, I went on a date with a girl I recently met, thinking she was really into me. Turns out she isn’t. How did I figure it out? We went clubbing and she hit on my roommate, made out with her best guy friend, and then left with a completely different guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 73

ISP woes

By Fuck my internet company - 07/10/2025 12:00

Today, after two weeks with no internet, we had a technician repair our service at our apartment. An hour later, one of my neighbors at the same complex yelled at us because the same technician disconnected her service by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 73

Not technically front row, then

By Jenny - 09/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, after I bought front-row tickets thanks to six months of saving, it was finally showtime. The person in front of me turned out to be really, really tall and wore a cowboy hat the entire show. Every photo I took looks like I paid $300 to watch the back of a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 91

Thank you, kind stranger

By naive - 10/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent twenty minutes helping an elderly man figure out how to use the self-checkout. When we'd finished, he smiled, thanked me, then walked away… without paying for any of his groceries. The cashier assumed I was with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 81

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was supposed to have my last interview for my dream job at a tech firm in Dubai. Instead, I spent my last few days in Dubai in hospital and now I am back in Denmark, on heavy antibiotics and painkillers, and two weeks sick leave away from a job I hate already. Then there's also a huge hospital bill to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 81

Charming

By Bros before hos, every time - 19/03/2026 09:00

Today, I was chilling at home when my roomie cruised in with a baddie on his arm. She turned out to be a total ho and started trying to get in my pants while he was sitting RIGHT THERE. I did everything I could to shake her off and in the end I just asked her to leave. Fuck, I feel bad for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 78

You're next

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Alnwick

Today, a woman who badly needed to change her incontinence pad sat next to me on the bus. I could smell it through my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 76

Let's get it on

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 03:00

Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 99

Realistic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told my daughter that it’s important to marry for love. She asked if I married her dad for love, which I did. She thought about it for a second, then said, "Fuck that, I’m marrying me a rich guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 128

Donut scandal

By Not a Kevin here - 10/06/2026 15:00 - Philippines

Today, in the doughnut shop I usually go to, I bought 3 dozen to take home. A new clerk rang me up and, with an attitude, said the store is cashless only now. Despite me showing cash to pay with like I always do, I was judged by other customers as if I was a deadbeat. She then threw a fit for cancelling and returning the items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 90

Group solidarity

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Cicero

Today, I was in group therapy, talking about my disordered eating habits and suppressed appetite from meds, and how I've been struggling to eat. One group member, who was definitely not listening to me, suggested I try Zepbound because his mom is thinner than me and she uses it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 86

This sparks no joy

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 15:00

Today, I took a good look, and I mean a really good look around the house and I realized that if I simply threw away all my wife’s useless crap she bought and hasn’t used in years, or even unwrapped from the plastic, we could probably move into a smaller, cheaper house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 98

Stop pointing out my shortcomings

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 12:00

Today, of all the things I have to be self-conscious about (my looks, my weight, my mental health…), I now have to be self-conscious of my breathing, because my brother says it’s “painful to listen to.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 109

Referees

By Anonymous - 25/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, my very very loud upstairs neighbor's children got ahold of athletic whistles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 52

Is your dad called Jordan?

By emily - 22/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my dad insists I have to deep clean my bathroom multiple times a day, because in his words: “Once a day just isn’t cutting it.” I have depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 104

Hard pass

By Uhhh no - 12/03/2026 12:00

Today, my husband drunkenly confessed that he has a shit fetish and wants to watch me take a dump in the bathtub while he jerks off. Guess him saying he "didn't like kinky things" was a lie, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 83

Brat

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 03:00

Today, my bratty stepdaughter ruins every picture possible by flipping off the camera. She either does it outright or slyly to the side. We recently paid hundreds of dollars for a professional family photoshoot and had to pay extra to Photoshop out her finger. He won’t discipline her at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 141

Protip

By Anonymous - 20/03/2026 03:00

Today, my boyfriend scratched his balls then rubbed his finger under my nose, all so he could grab the TV remote and change the channel while I ran to the sink retching FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 116

Chance encounter

By Never chosen - 27/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I ran into a guy I knew from 3 years ago. He just moved here from out of state and is planning to stay forever. This is the same guy who dated me long distance and dumped me after a while because he “couldn’t handle long distance.” He just got engaged to a girl who lives here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 112

You're in the army now

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 12:00

Today, my officer took us on a night navigation exercise. Naturally, I and my fellow soldiers followed him. After many wrong turns, we climbed over barbed wire into a cow field. Our illustrious leader was startled by a cow, then became intimately entangled in the wire. As medic it was my duty to apply bandages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 103

Whatnot etc.

By Fucked - 07/09/2025 15:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I started my new shift schedule. They run on the policy: "Early is on time, on time is late." My shift starts at 6 in the morning. It's now 11pm and my wife called me a selfish bastard for asking her to get off Whatnot so I can sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 58

Such a rush

By Later! - 16/12/2025 20:00

Today, I woke up late and rushed to catch the bus. I sprinted heroically, slipped on wet pavement, and skidded directly into a puddle deep enough to baptize me. The driver waited just long enough to make eye contact before closing the doors and leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 79

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The Top

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I thought it was a great idea to go off into a park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park. Meanwhile, a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 571

You deserved it 74 418

Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 168

Today, I realized I've lived alone for so long, I now apologize to my phone for dropping it, or even over-charging it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 185

Today, despite being unable to stand for more than a few minutes at a time or walk farther than a few hundred feet, the doctor told me to begin doing 30 minutes of non-stop exercise everyday. He literally said, “Don’t stop for 30 minutes everyday.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 221

Today, a client came in to pay for her storage unit, and like every other time she comes in, she lifted up her shirt and practically showed me her boobs. This lady is in her 70s and is morbidly obese. Oh, and she also told me that the Nazis had the right idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 120

Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 394