Today, I was out of town but saw the Ring camera footage of a woman dragging my wife out of our house by her hair and beat the brakes off her on the front lawn. The woman was the mother of the girl our daughter had been bullying. When confronted, our daughter laughed and said, "Oh well." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML
Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I heard my wife and daughter arguing. My wife took away my daughter's phone and laptop for being disrespectful. My daughter screamed, calling her mom a fat cow. My wife simply said, "Yeah, well you’re gonna look exactly like me when you grow up!" Now they’re both locked in rooms, crying. FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML
Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
If that's true, you daughter needs military school until she's 18 and no longer your problem. And of course, please press charges. That other mother was out of line, obviously.
jlc82 14
if you knew your daughter was bullying someone and did nothing to stop it you both deserve a beat down and I hope the father of the girl nails you next
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Comments (5)
DLBL 23
If that's true, you daughter needs military school until she's 18 and no longer your problem. And of course, please press charges. That other mother was out of line, obviously.
jlc82 14
if you knew your daughter was bullying someone and did nothing to stop it you both deserve a beat down and I hope the father of the girl nails you next
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I'm hoping that you posted this because you discovered that your daughter is a psychopath, and not because you were well aware about the bullying, but ignored it until the consequences caught up to you and your wife, and you somehow feel like the victim now.
tiptoppc 21
I’d let your wife beat the daughter like the victims mom beat your wife. Bullying has bigger issues like victims shooting up schools when they had enough because no one does anything about it. That, or let the victim’s mom press charges on your daughter and when she gets arrested screaming for you, go “Oh, Well!” As she gets jammed into the back of a patrol car. I was the victim of bullying, and when my wife and I have kids, won’t stand for it, whether the child is the victim, or the bully. I’ll stop it right then and there.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I hope you or your wife didn't know about the bullying beforehand... if so, you absolutely deserve this. Bullying is a serious issue. We've had two teen suicides in four months in my town because of it. Your daughter needs military school ASAP.