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Nope, no thanks

By Anonymous - 30/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out that I have to appear in juvenile court because I refused to go visit my dad, even though it was court ordered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 141

Relatable

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 00:00

Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 202

My smol bean baby

By Heather05 - 11/11/2025 15:00

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and politely asked if I could keep my “crying baby” quiet at night. I live alone. I don’t even have a baby. I have a cat. A very dramatic, needy, attention-hungry cat who yelps when I close any door or leave her eyesight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 141

Thanks not given much

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 20:00

Today, I sadly woke to a realization: Even on Thanksgiving and my baby girl's birthday, their dad's idea of a family day is constantly sitting there "trying to feel less sick" and just ignore us all, or as he says it, "time is all out" and playing Pokemon GO. Awesome. If I say anything, he threatens to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 130

Think globally

By Bloody tears - 27/05/2026 00:00 - Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, my husband got so worked up in an argument that his blood pressure spiked and he burst a vein in his eyeball. He was arguing with a guy on the internet, trying to convince him that Donald Trump is evil. We're not even American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 186

Boredom

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 12:00

Today, I'm still unemployed after almost a year because my last job couldn't transfer me when my wife and I had to move due to her job. I can't even find something like grocery store or fast food. Seriously beginning to resent her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 198

On the twelfth day of Xmas, my true love sent to me…

By Yudith - 14/12/2025 15:00

Today, it's the twelfth day since I ordered the fittings (which are not sold in hardware stores) needed for one of our tenants' leaking kitchen sink. I received two emails; one that says the package will arrive today, and one that says never mind, the package will arrive in seven weeks. For the tenant, FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 79

In for the long haul

By Anonymous - 01/07/2026 22:00 - Australia

Today, I'd booked the cheapest seat on a long flight and ended up between a couple who spent the entire trip arguing through me instead of talking to each other, even after I offered to switch seats. By the end of the flight I probably knew more about their marriage than some of their relatives do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 75

Stiff

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 15:00

Today, I went to get checked out for my hip pain that hasn't worsened but isn't going away. When I practiced the stretches the physical therapist wanted me to do, it didn't hurt at all. When I did them much later by myself, it hurt like hell. I described my worst pain at the time as a 4. The pain now is a 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 79

Hate the game, not the player

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 09:00

Today, I really liked this girl, and it seemed like she maybe liked me too. We texted a lot, she invited me to a party, and we played games together. I asked her out, worried about waiting too long, but got a really ambiguous answer. Now she’s playing the same games she used to ask me to play, just with a different guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 84

Good boy

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 15:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. The vet asked me to hold him still and keep him chill while he took his temperature rectally. My dog freaked out, jumped, and the thermometer hit me in the face. The vet just said, “That’s a first.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 111

Such a pity

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really tried to talk to my wife how I feel that she hates me and is with me out of pity. She denied it all but by the end of the conversation mentioned she wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 123

Skittish

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 93

Ho hum

By Awks - 05/02/2026 15:00

Today, as an Uber driver, I thought I’d finally mastered small talk. I complimented a passenger’s perfume, asking what it was. She said it was her mom’s, who'd passed away recently. The silence that followed made me spend the rest of the ride saying ,“Uh-huh” to the GPS like it was a conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 86

This is our special place

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I just moved to a new house so I was looking for new jogging routes. I ended up in an area I was unaware was a big dogging hotspot. Two couples invited me to threesomes, and when I said no and tried to leave, I had stones and litter thrown at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 89

Tease

By Blue balls forever - 20/10/2025 20:00

Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 81

You never know

By Anonymous - 17/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Ballston Spa

Today, a woman came up to my cash register, where I was struggling with the cash, and asked if we took cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 109

Lovely

By Zorro - 14/11/2025 20:00

Today, I told my mom I was feeling depressed and needed motivation. She hugged me and said, “Honey, you just need to get out there and find someone who loves you for who you are.” Then she added, “...but maybe lose the mustache first.” I’m her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 144

What did she do now?

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 15:00

Today, I found out that my husband, who I've just separated from, and my mother, who I don't speak to because she's crazy, have been bitching about me behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 131

Bitch

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 22:00

Today, I didn’t get to have Valentine's sex because the dog we just rescued is so attached to my husband that she tries to bite me every time I go near him. I seriously don’t think I’ve touched my husband once in over a week, and I’ve been bitten twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 80

Drilling time

By scared - 23/10/2025 09:00

Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 72

Be quiet

By type quiet - 11/03/2026 00:00

Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 118

Keeping it in the family

By Genny - 03/02/2026 12:00

Today, I learned that my brother is having sex with my aunt. Disgusted, I told my mom how wrong that is. She said, "Well, they're both adults, so we just kind of pretend it's not happening" and shrugged. We don't even live in the South, we live in a civilized city. This is so fucked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 135

Doofus

By Jim - 14/10/2025 03:00

Today, I went to my favorite café to order my usual iced latte. The barista smiled and said, “The usual, right?” I nodded confidently, except she wasn’t talking to me. She handed the drink to the guy behind me and said, “Thanks, babe.” He winked at her. I just paid for my drink in silence, praying for a sinkhole to open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 113

Best prepared

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 12:00

Today, I called in a refill for a vital medication that I've been on since a couple of decades ago. No big deal since I called a week in advance. I then received a notification that the specific medication is out of stock at the moment, and they won't have another set ready for four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 53

Misophonia

By Blech - 07/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was supervising a training exercise at work, where everyone had to wear microphones. One guy was congested and I got to hear six hours of sniffling, snorting, coughing, throat clearing, and mucus blowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 71

Second opinion

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 15:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my psychiatrist literally said the words, ”I don’t know how to help you anymore” to me. I have never felt more hopeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 111

Hair care

By Anonymous - 28/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, after spending a week detangling my hair (It took a week because my hands have nerve issues) because it felt like my scalp was glued to my scalp from not being taken care of, I cut it all off. My hair got tangled in the device twice and eventually revealed a burn on my scalp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 111

Let's not keep in touch

By Welp - 16/01/2026 12:00

Today, I tried to reach out to an old friend. He answered the phone sounding half-asleep, then suddenly switched to an outrageously fake and racist Indian accent, and started yelling nonsense down the phone once I said my name. Guess that bridge is burned, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 108

Goddamn sky rats

By Anonymous - 11/09/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a fancy salad for lunch and went to eat it in the park. A strong gust of wind flipped the lid off and launched half the salad into my lap. As I jumped up to shake it off, I slipped on a stray tomato slice, fell backward onto the grass, and watched as a seagull swooped in to eat my croutons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 108

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The Top

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 729

You deserved it 5 204

Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 669

You deserved it 7 291

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 458

You deserved it 34 898

Today, my girlfriend told me that she wants to marry me and have my children. I’m 15. We've been dating for 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 234

You deserved it 238

Today, there are two cats in my basement that won't stop fighting. Loudly. I'm trying to sleep, if you don't mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 191

Today, I learned that my brother isn't going to have a funeral because my dad and stepmom can't afford one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 66