By Annie - 01/11/2018 22:15
The Top
By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom
By interphaseprophasemetaphase - 04/09/2013 11:18 - Australia - Melbourne
By Username - 03/01/2011 11:40
Nice
By oh, shit...... - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Denmark - Bagsværd
By creepedasfuck - 23/09/2012 16:50 - United States - Limington
By Gassy and sassy - 07/12/2014 06:15 - United States - Philadelphia
By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 03:44 - United States - Arcadia
By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland
By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 22:00
True crime addict
By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 09:30 - Canada - Calgary
By theoriginalkydd - 11/12/2018 13:30 - Canada - Toronto
Happy Halloween!
By 4evalone - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Monterey
By oliversoden101 - 24/12/2015 14:50 - United States - Miami
oliversoden101 tells us more.
By pabj208 - 22/12/2015 16:53 - United Kingdom
Soooooo cute
By Anonymous - 21/12/2015 14:56 - United States - Seattle
By 117halo12345 - 17/12/2015 21:37 - United States - Sedgewickville
First date blues
By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 20:15 - Canada
By sydysyd - 21/11/2010 23:43 - United States
By BlueB - 06/07/2013 15:42 - United States
By frenchboyfriend - 14/11/2010 00:28 - Australia
frenchboyfriend tells us more.
The next day (on her actual birthday), I wished her a happy birthday again and luckily I still had a present for her (I had planned on giving her the nicest present right before bed the previous night but when she told me her birthday was the next day, I kept it for her real birthday!). :-)
By Anonymous - 25/07/2012 01:37 - United States - Solon Springs
Petty thief
By Already Broke Asf - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rock Hill
Eve of destruction
By Anonymous - 17/05/2019 16:31
Crushed
By beanpole - 19/12/2016 19:34 - Canada - Canning
By moonbears - 22/10/2015 16:46 - United States - Portland
Crime wave
By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 05:43 - United States
By screwyouchris - 16/10/2015 23:08 - United Kingdom - Brighton
By Mightytall - 01/06/2019 10:27
Mightytall tells us more.
Yay! My first ever published fml! What did I do? I showed him how to hold the paper and told him he needs to wipe with new paper until it stays clean. And that if he does not, he will run around smelly and eventually risk getting an infection. The whole time he looked me straight in the eyes and listened intently, but the only thing that really stuck was apparently the part where I said that a really bad infection can cause him to lose parts of his popo in the worst case. So ya, FML
By ItsGoneForever - 25/11/2016 08:58 - Netherlands
ItsGoneForever tells us more.
Hello guys (and probably also girls!), this is OP. I just wanted to explain as to why it was really awkward at the time. I never had any troubles with the escort itself. I became so used to it during our relationship that I even started guiding my mom and friends out of habit. However, she dumped me completely out of the blue. She had doubts about our relationship for more than a month at the time, talked about this with her parents/sisters/friends/etc. Basically, she discussed this with almost everybody around her, except with the one concerning the doubts: me. I personally never felt any doubts, we didn't fight much (just what every healthy couple does now and then :-) ) and my feelings for her never changed. I had even taken her on a 4 day trip to Barcelona (on my expenses) not 2 weeks earlier as a birthdaygift. So when she dumped me while in that park, it felt really unfair, it came as a great shock for me and I also felt some anger towards her which is why guiding her back home was really awkward and something which I didn't really want to do at the time. On the other hand, we didn't fight over it or anything, so it was also obvious for me to stay a true gentleman of course! I had a good talk with her a couple of weeks later and I didn't have strange or sad feelings when I saw her then. Today, it is almost 3 months since the end of our relationship and I feel I am over her. I still talk to her from time to time and we are still nice to eachother (though friends is a big word!).
Keywords
Hi I'm the OP, I'm glad I got published that's awesome! The doctor fixed up my nose and it already feels a lot better, I think it's mostly the morphine though. Anyway I learned my lesson with guns and I doubt my dad will let me touch one again for a LONG time.