Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I finally convinced my shy new cat to come out from under the bed and hang out with me on the couch. I felt like a true cat whisperer until, in the middle of petting her, she jumped up, knocked over my mug, and spilled hot cocoa all over my book. She then looked at me as if I was the one who messed up. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML
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Top comments
amyrules99 7
What kind of cat doesn't want a cup of tea?!?!
gTOtheT 7
Yeah I hate it when I overdose and my cat won't take my tea. So rude.
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Comments (188)
zombiesquirel 0
FIRST!
amyrules99 7
What kind of cat doesn't want a cup of tea?!?!
boating_guy 33
Sounds like you coulda been high lol By the way, recording yourself while high then listening/watching it later is funny as hell sometimes.
NothernNightmare 18
I assume you've tried that, 18?
notsorandomguy 18
I assure you, 2, the cat did want the cup of tea. He was just offended by the way OP offered it. And OP probably forgot the milk.
KILLERTOAST13 4
Just about every one. MILK!!
boxbrandon11 20
British accent "Would you like a cup of tea?"
SuperKnuckels 6
ill have what OP is having xD
Meettitan 14
73- I do believe that was the British tee stereotype he was portraying....... not the non existant British insane cat person stereotype....
1awliet 8
Well maybe if OP offered the cat a cup of milk then the cat would have accepted it.
sillysh 0
Milk is what it's all about everyone knows that.
therealslim 15
I'm British and I bloody hate tea. Just putting that out there.
iliketurdles 7
118, that's blasphemy. I suppose your love for crumpets balances out all the good and evil of this world. And incase any of you are wondering, yes, tea is what's keeping the Universe intact. True story.
efemel94 7
I suppose I just fit the national stereotype. I ******* love tea :D
PrettyKookieToo 8
Haha, I'm British and I don't like tea. Though, I do like crumpets and jam, also I have national anthem on my phone.
opendoorclosed 8
******* and tea doesn't mix... Truuuuust me.
Pelvispresley 8
Maybe it wanted decaf
mxpklx 12
There are bags of catnip tea for cats at my local pet store.
meihua 19
The local pussy
mango260 9
I'm not British but I love tea :D and British accents!
PoseidonsSon 3
73- That's weird. When I went there, my hotel room door was constantly being scratched on by cats asking for tea.
relaxedninja 18
Love the David Bowie shirt 152
ParkBenchWreck 3
It's "spot of tea" my dear chum. "spot"
PrettyKookieToo 8
185 - Why, thank you ~
MishaMash 9
118, I love tea and I'm American.
Bree12345 15
my cat
PantyGAMES 10
......no........their cat......
DontModMeDammit 10
Our cat.
DontModMeDammit 10
His cat.
DontModMeDammit 10
Her cat.
lolfood 24
I think that's supposed to be a reply to #1
DontModMeDammit 10
There is a cat.
drdraaman 0
Its cat
DontModMeDammit 10
They're cats.
bananagrams 9
Dog
bitter3ulogy 0
Pussy
hahayourmom101 5
And finally, WHOSE cat?
tylerbisel 2
Alpacas
DespairFaction 11
El gato
racerapj 10
Capybara
KiddNYC1O 22
65- Stop that. Thought I'd rhyme along with you.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Un chat.
False_Stupidity 42
There is no cat...
ALpein 0
Maybe it prefers coffee.
boating_guy 33
Sounds like a picky pussy to me
xcarxcrashx 9
Cats + caffeine! Sounds like the recipe for disaster.
zachherbert 10
Actually the recipe for disaster is much more complicated.
jjessen 20
What is needed for such recipe? I MUST have it!
TzHaar_Joh_Zuhai 4
Why just go on runescape
Anumayis 34
what has runescape got to do with this?
gTOtheT 7
Yeah I hate it when I overdose and my cat won't take my tea. So rude.
ebonyirony 29
My dog drinks Chardonnay.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
My ferret enjoys the occasional margarita.
pokefan813 16
My hamster likes Sherley temple.
zachherbert 10
My goldfish swims in vodka..
TheVelocirabbit 10
My Iguana loves Martinis.
dubstep12 8
My dog actually drinks wine.. Pretty funny sight when he keeps running into the refrigerator:)
gTOtheT 7
...... My cat eats macaroni and cheese.... :/
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! ^
SqueakyChipmunk 22
My dog eats people who use the term "C-C-C-C-Combo breaker!" But my Velociraptor just loves Bloody Marys.
MCweSCRAPPY 2
I really want to understand how OP wasn't able to sleep on antihistamines.
omgcookeys 15
Cats are so rude these days.
darwinism 30
Not so much rude as misunderstood. OP was doomed to fail from the start by offering the tea. What OP had to do was to twist the conversation in such a way that the cat thinks it was his idea to have tea, and that OP was making an offering to the lord of the house by sharing with it. But this is a common mistake that often results in a cat grudge that could last from a few minutes to many years.
SouthernPride95 19
It happens
ZX6Rninja 0
It might be a crackhead that got a hold of the wrong shit.
xXkingmikeXx 5
Everyone knows cats love soda not tea.
poopycat 5
No, cats love energy drinks more than anything!
swankmrpancake 8
Actually cats need taurine in their diet in order to keep their sight and energy drinks have plenty. Just don't give them too much or the caffeine will kill them
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Cats love anti freeze! I know that for a fact haha. Please PETA don't thumb me down.
xcarxcrashx 9
116 you should probably seek pet advice from your vet and not the FML community before feeding your kitty energy drinks. I was always under the impression that caffeine is bad for pets.
shawnaishere 14
Everybody likes tea that a surprise it didn't accept it.
a1f0sff 25
He must have been angry at you for overdosing accidentally.