Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute cashier at my usual drive-thru. Instead of saying, "Thank you," I panicked and said, "I love you." Now I have to find a new favorite burger place. FML
Today, I had a customer propose to me. I work at Taco Bell. FML
Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed, and said "MMMM, now THAT'S what I want." Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was berated by a customer for a good two minutes. It's okay though because she ended with, "Sorry, I forget you all are real people." FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
He's lovin' it.
lil_ham1644 29
Sweet promises? What, like "I promise it'll be over soon, you just look so tasty I could eat you up."
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Comments (88)
Queensland 27
He's lovin' it.
MissSatan 16
Just wait 'til he takes it to bed
jellybeens_fml 16
Customer be like "I can eat you all day"
cryssycakesx3 23
gettin' that big Mac special sauce...
JMichael 26
I want to know if he named it Patty and sang a catchy musical number to it.
kyu_Q 19
pada pa pa paaaa
Brandi_Faith 34
I can just picture him whispering "I shall call you squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my squishy."
Jessj958 19
#44 that was the first thing that came to mind after reading this! :)
shadokis 15
He wanted it his way
alexcr344 7
Somebody needs help
tanekdrachonae 19
Shhh, just be quiet and let it happen. I promise you'll like it.
brivielle 15
I'd have passed by and "mistakenly" stuck a toothpick in the burger. Or mistakenly thrown a knife at it. Homicide!
Reaper5639 16
Shame on you for wanting to crush a good relationship between man and burger.
Bentonic 11
Nah, seems like he had the situation under control.
tony1891 22
Someone forgot to take their meds ...or took the wrong one
BntyHntrSeattle 30
...or doesn't have any. yet.
silvercamaro 22
Or he just has an intense love for burgers, I know I do.
Kyle1dc 17
or he probably forgot about pizza and ramen...
lil_ham1644 29
Sweet promises? What, like "I promise it'll be over soon, you just look so tasty I could eat you up."
ladyLALAA 29
I swear you're going to a better place!
markcallanan_ 20
Oh god, run for it while you still can.
mallu86 9
Run for the burger? No way. He's having a romantic date with it.
kimilicious 9
the love between a man and his food is special.
crazytwinsmom 25
Cheeseburger in paradise
JBChristian 47
OP just be careful where you pet it, it might not like to be touched there ;)
BreathingClover 19
sounds delicious
jsp16 24
Any cheesy quotes made to the burger?
Kyle1dc 17
Burger lover: Lettuce run away together! You mayo may not want to but we were made for each other. I want to ketchup with your heart.... OK I'm done now.
PiinkVanilla 15
He's gonna be the one laughing when one of those things comes alive and enslaves the human race and he is the only one spared because of his loyalty.
mackdeezy 22
I've heard of food sex but this is ridiculous.