The Top

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Lost in the sauce

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 23:56 - United States

Today, I spent 6 hours unloading boxes into my new apartment. After unloading the entire truck and making trips up and down two flights of stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Apparently the landlord gave me the key to the WRONG apartment. Mine is downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 834

You deserved it 2 976

By bclark - 16/05/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, my father sent me a letter in the mail. He spelled my first name wrong on the front of the envelope. I'm turning 28 years old and my own father doesn't know that my name has two "t"s in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 864

You deserved it 3 536

bclark tells us more.

bclark 0

Monday 18 May 2009 2:13

My name is Brett. Inside the envelope was a birthday card....my birthday is not until July.

My precious

By Gollumapparently - 13/01/2021 05:01

Today, my friend and I took an online quiz to find out what character from Lord of the Rings we look like. She got Arwen. I got Gollum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 242

You asshat

By Natalie - 14/07/2012 16:46 - United States - Odessa

Today, my father, who's never played much part in my life, told me how proud he is of me. I choked back tears, and we hugged for the first time in years. Later, I choked back my rage when I saw he'd opened my mail and obviously planned on leeching my new-found SSI money off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 099

You deserved it 2 248

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 700

You deserved it 5 360

By Anonymous - 09/09/2014 16:16 - Australia - Perth

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 821

You deserved it 4 156

Smothered

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wrote "I love you" on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She completely freaked out and accused me of being "too clingy" and that I'm starting to feel more like a stalker than a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 908

You deserved it 8 124

By Lisa - 04/11/2010 14:42 - United States

Today, I received an overdue bill for my now nonexistent car that caught fire in July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 201

You deserved it 3 577

Back to public transport

By Dante - 30/11/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It's going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers' spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 119

You deserved it 2 690

By 6boss - 03/11/2010 05:00 - France

Today, in art class, everybody was showing the paintings that we have been working on for weeks. Everyone was cheering and clapping. When mine came up, nobody clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 4 714

Too much pressure

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 22:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that I wanted to get married eventually, and there's no way to talk me out of it. He broke up with me immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 587

I want more

By Anonymous - 26/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Fontana

Today, I’m worried that swinging might've ruined my marriage. My wife and I both agreed and we very much enjoyed ourselves. The problem is that the other woman rode me like a high intensity thrill ride roller coaster compared to the same old merry go round that is my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 432

Move your ass

By Anonymous - 23/06/2023 06:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend sits in an empty apartment, complaining about it being a rat hole. HE picked the place, HE refuses my help to decorate, as well as my offer to get his stuff from the old place, and yes, he could totally afford something better. But sure, his life is shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 195

Lord give me strength

By caitlyn - 22/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 856

By Anonymous - 03/09/2014 22:30 - United States - Phillipsburg

Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 057

You deserved it 36 202

By lonelyguy - 28/11/2009 03:02 - Puerto Rico

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend Thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 851

You deserved it 8 080

Coping

By Anonymous - 23/06/2023 18:00

Today, I realized how self-absorbed my mother is when she came to visit, and was so upset at my sibling over a non-issue that she didn't notice I was high so I wouldn't have to remember anything she said. I was hoping for a healthier relationship with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 272

Drama queen

By Such a Karen - 22/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I tried making a dramatic exit during an argument, but my jacket got stuck on the door handle. My epic moment was ruined as I wrestled to free myself while my opponent just stood there, laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 445

Ow ow ow

By too much pain - 28/06/2023 10:00

Today, a few days after getting my nipples repierced, my man initiated sex. Normally, I love it when he's a little rough on my tits, and I guess he forgot about my not-entirely-healed nips. Let's just say sex ended REAL fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 487

Desperate times

By jeana - 25/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was so desperate to pee that I used the only bathroom in the convenience store I was in, which was “Employees Only.” Well, the door got stuck and I had to get an employee to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 345

Justice served

By ToiletPrankster - 15/03/2022 06:00

Today, I thought it would be funny to prank call my job on my day off. I star 69’ed the numbers and prank called my coworkers. However, when I got to my boss, he knew who I was, and threatened to report me to the police. I’d forgotten to star 69. Safe to say, I was fired on my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 3 402

Oh, the irony

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 07:56

Today, my dad came home after collecting donations for construction of the temple of Lord Rama, who is known for qualities like patience. Within 5 minutes, he started yelling at my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 115

Meme posting IRL

By fuck off dad, just fuck off k? - 08/07/2026 00:00 - The Netherlands

Today, I excitedly told my parents I was going to India for an exotic vacation in two months. My dad responded with a "DO NOT REDEEM THE VACATION!" reaction in a racist voice while laughing. My mom snorted and fake-chastised him while also laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 300

By md. - 25/11/2009 04:08 - Canada

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 560

You deserved it 28 414

Seize the day

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 15:00

Today, a guy that I've been friends with for almost 20 years, and for whom I have never shown even the slightest bit of romantic interest in, confessed his love for me. In front of everyone we know, at mine and my fiancé's engagement party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 164

What is wrong with you?

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my husband came to me with a proposition. He asked in all honesty if he could please have a one-time pass to have sex with someone else. He said that she’s a virgin and it’s always been his dream, and something every man deserves in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 117

Literally #FAFO

By Anonymous - 12/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, I’ve been in mama bear mode, fiercely defending my 20 year-old son against several slanderous paternity claims. Good news; one test came back negative. Bad news; five others came back positive. Now none of the girls wants me to see my grandchildren because I sided with my boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 955

I've just got one of those faces

By Eric Rivera - 30/01/2021 05:01 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, while walking to the corner store, I noticed a car full of teenage girls. As I got closer to the store, one of them who was still getting in, says, "Hurry, here comes a pedo!" I turned to look and see who they were talking about, but there was no one behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 162

Practice makes perfect

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Sunderland

Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 587

Make it stop

By Anonymous - 17/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Leominster

Today, it sucks so bad because I have fibromyalgia, which is a chronic pain there is no cure for. Right now I hurt so bad that I want to go to the hospital to stop the pain, but they won’t do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 57

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The Top

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 168

You deserved it 1 509

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 174

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 745

You deserved it 8 819

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 265

You deserved it 5 280

Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 011

You deserved it 28 688

Today, I got a job! When they sent me the offer letter, I sent it back ASAP after being satisfied with the salary and benefits. My problem? I wrote that I'd accepted the wrong position (in the interview it went by different names) The irony? I'm supposed to be in QC, ie., I'm supposed to have a keen eye for errors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 868