Today, my girlfriend convinced me to have sex while she’s on her period. She kept half-whispering, half-moaning weird phrases I didn’t understand. After some googling, it roughly translated to “Bound in blood. Together forever bound by blood.” I think she tried to hex me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
Today, I had sex with my wife while she was on her period. After some time, I felt a burning sensation. When I pulled out, there was not only blood on my penis, but IN my penis. I, a man, peed out period blood. It hurt. I did not know this was possible. FML
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML
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Top comments
SAgirl 23
She's readying to much sex fiction.
FluffythePink 23
Holy mother of Buddha. A blood binding requires a mingling of blood from BOTH parties 🤦. And New Agers wonder why they make this old witch roll her eyes so hard they spin in her head like fruit machine reels sometimes... This is why I gave up trying to talk to 'like minded people'. I just end up channeling Granny Weatherwax every single time.
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Comments (3)
sonofmandalor 15
that wasn't a hex. it was a blood bonding
FluffythePink 23
Holy mother of Buddha. A blood binding requires a mingling of blood from BOTH parties 🤦. And New Agers wonder why they make this old witch roll her eyes so hard they spin in her head like fruit machine reels sometimes... This is why I gave up trying to talk to 'like minded people'. I just end up channeling Granny Weatherwax every single time.
SAgirl 23
She's readying to much sex fiction.