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By theman - 21/05/2009 20:49

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 577

You deserved it 6 885

Forever alone man

By Boyufd - 02/01/2021 08:00

Today, I feel so lonely I talked to the likely scam number that called me. Even then they hung up after 2 minutes of talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 21:31 - United States

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 927

You deserved it 5 026

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 03:32 - United States

Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 849

You deserved it 35 754

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

By Privacy please - 30/10/2024 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 87

By tristounette - 12/12/2011 05:45 - Finland

Today, I was crying and telling my boyfriend about my problems. When he suddenly stood up, I thought that he was going to grab me some tissues. Turns out he'd gone to get earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 79

We're all proud of him

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 05:59 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 122

A lot going on

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Hummelstown

Today, I found all of my underwear frozen in my freezer. I put my underwear in the washer before I left for work. I then put them in the dryer. I woke up and tried to put them on several times thinking I was missing the pant holes. I finally turned on the lights to see that each leg hole was sewn shut, all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 129

By Anonymous - 20/09/2014 15:28 - Sweden - Kung?lv

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 160

You deserved it 14 110

Soiled

By Mustanggt - 04/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my clueless British boss booked me on a six hour Greyhound bus trip for work. He doesn't know what happens on American buses: the endless delays and stops, the drugs, the sharts… FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 94

Grow up, man

By Mud - 11/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, I called the guy who's been ghosting me after our date and demanded answers. He said, "All you wanted to talk about on our date was heavy shit, my career, my family, my past relationships. It didn't feel like a date, it felt like an interview." Of course! I wanted to know if our goals match! I'm 35, not a teen! FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 736

Relax

By Anonymous - 06/01/2021 23:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, in the attempt to have a relaxing self-care evening, I ran a bath, threw in some bath salts then put a face mask on and hopped on in. After about 7 minutes of relaxing, my back started burning, so I got out only to discover the bath salts have given me a rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 116

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 392

You deserved it 7 314

Nope

By frenchpie - 17/05/2009 12:05 - Korea Republic of

Today, the guy I liked came over for dinner with some friends. One of them asked him if we were dating, he became so distraught he started to choke on the food I had made, in his haste to tell them that in no uncertain terms, were we together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 532

You deserved it 4 180

Need help

By Nohelpforyou - 04/03/2022 18:00 - Canada - London

Today, I was so depressed that I almost called Kids Help Phone for support. Then I remembered that I’m 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 158

Check these out!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 20:00 - Germany - Gelnhausen

Today, I wanted to show a photo of my cat to my colleague, but my phone fell out of my hand and scrolled to the next photo, a photo of me without a bra. Now he thinks that this is how I tried to let him know that I want a quickie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 470

Daily grind

By well fuck - 17/06/2026 22:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 109

By uglyguy252 - 16/05/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 472

You deserved it 3 645

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 537

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 525

You deserved it 5 650

By Smile - 03/03/2008 05:04

Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 358

By werewolfoflondon - 03/11/2010 02:16 - Canada

Today, I got fired over MSN. I wasn't even online at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 614

You deserved it 2 897

Poor doggo

By not doing it - 21/06/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, my partner is still pouting because I refused to adopt a “special needs” dog. Never mind that we don’t have the training, experience, equipment, nor financial means to care for an animal with such extensive medical needs, oh no, he just wanted it because it "looked sad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 136

Renters' rights

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 11:01

Today, I’m a student renting a room in an old lady’s house. The other lodger, who arrived a few weeks later, hates my guts now because my room has a tiny old TV and hers doesn’t. It wasn’t even my choice to take this room, it was decided by the landlady. But sure, I’m an evil, TV-hogging bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 103

By Tripartita - 07/07/2016 13:31 - United States

Today, after months of convincing from my friends, I finally bought a car they claimed would be a chick magnet. Wrong kind of "chick," mates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 85

By s0728 - 01/09/2014 21:37 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 593

You deserved it 3 320

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 06:00

Today, after 8 months of horrific insomnia, I finally got an appointment with a sleep specialist. His advice? "Google it, download this free app, and call me in 5 months if it gets worse." I haven't slept more than 4 hours uninterrupted since 2022. I'll be lucky to be alive in 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 123

Small world

By Anonyme - 25/11/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my local grocery store in sweatpants and slippers to pick up some hangover food, thinking I wouldn’t run into anyone I know. I ran into my ex, her new partner, and his parents… twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 325

By Cup_of___ - 26/11/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 947

You deserved it 30 168

Baby girl

By Strawberry Shortcake - 30/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 149

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The Top

Today, I found out my co-worker had made plans for a night out, just as I'd cancelled all of mine to work with him on a project for the next 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 067

You deserved it 861

Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 252

You deserved it 39 021

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 198

You deserved it 3 789

Today, I found out that my intense acne is actually an allergic reaction to the "deep clean" product I've been using to reduce it. I've been using this product for the past ten years. Ten years of suffering through "acne" could have been easily avoided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 842

You deserved it 1 187

Today, thanks to a tip from a friend, I discovered that my Facebook account had been hacked. Again. Only this time, it won't let me recover my account because it doesn't "know" it's me. They're also not giving me any options to prove that I am… me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 114

Today, I woke up to news that a document had been made about me and about 50% of my friends left me behind after reading it. None of the alleged acts are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 99