By DesperateToBeDad - 31/12/2015 11:57 - United Kingdom - Gravenhurst
The Top
DesperateToBeDad tells us more.
By SilentSin - 25/08/2015 02:02 - United States - Canton
SilentSin tells us more.
OP here. I just wanna clear things up. I work third shift and go to college full time, so yes, I do take naps every now and then before work (usually right after classes), and the two dogs I own are a Pomeranian and a chihuahua terroir, both of which are two very small breeds of dogs. So for those saying that dogs are meant for protection, yeah, not these. Pomeranians are very defensive of their territory, so no matter who or what my Pom sees or hears outside, she'll bark like crazy. The chihuahua usually does the same thing; they bark even when they hear me open the garage door. No, I never heard the intruder break in and yes, I have trained the dogs both to silence the barking but only on command. So since they were in a different room than me, I went and commanded them to silence, and yes I didn't think there was a burglar in the house because like I said earlier, these dogs bark at EVERYTHING. Being distracted by the dogs, I did get KO'd but it wasn't for too long. I woke up only minutes after, called police and managed to catch the thief, so it's all good now. I hope this clears things up and that y'all have a fantastic day!
Because nobody questions Bigfoot
By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
The system is broke!
By ABD - 15/12/2017 01:30
By Miss_Blaine - 29/06/2016 20:05 - United States - Houston
Not coming
By L_M_AND_R_L - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States
By boobmilk - 08/03/2018 15:00 - United States - Hesperia
By Anonymous - 04/10/2018 15:30
By SnapeIsGood - 08/11/2016 09:44 - Germany - Kornwestheim
By Anonymous - 19/06/2017 14:41 - United States - Spring Hill
TheDword tells us more.
Hey guys OP here, i cant believe this got featured especially as incoherent as i thnk it is. To answer some questions i do kinda wish that they would get back together but it really was a mess of a family. As pathetic as it sounds i am living with my gf and her family since my mother, who knows that he is going to live there, currently lives with her mother and its rather packed. The house my father is going to live in was our old house. Dad got custody of that. Fortunately neither get custody of me since i am 19. Ty for all your support!
By StarDust5921 - 04/10/2016 01:55 - United States - Utica
By Anonymous - 31/08/2017 16:00
Hot
By Sucks2beme - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
By singkong duleng - 18/08/2018 15:00
Zach from Extra Fabulous Comics Illustrated this FML!
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By idaaan - 31/10/2018 03:00 - Sweden - Karlstad
Flood warning
By Anonymous - 06/01/2016 15:58 - United States - San Francisco
Family values
By this is impossible - 05/01/2016 00:21 - United States - Norristown
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By Anonymous - 16/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Philadelphia
By Anonymous - 18/10/2015 14:23 - United States - Marshall
My turn
By Crazy In-Laws - 20/11/2016 22:54 - United States - Danvers
By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 15:48 - United States - Bedminster
Disproportionate response
By notout - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Fundies everywhere
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs
Keywords
OP here. Wow, wasn't expecting so many comments! I feel I should probably clarify a few things here: First of all, I have a very vivid imagination and tend to have involuntary daydreams where various scenarios to a situation play out. This was one such case, and doesn't mean I'm violent or am actually contemplating shooting people or anything like that, my mind just rollercoasters through various things happening and I'm just sort of along for the ride. I found this one amusing enough to post on FML. My wife and I are currently looking into fertility tests to find out exactly what the problem is, and will of course consider adoption/fostering if it turns out that natural conception isn't on the cards. Don't worry, I'm not going to abduct anyone's kids or go on a murder spree. :P