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Freaked

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 15:00

Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 311

You deserved it 182

Technology hate humans

By Helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp - 25/06/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I have a keyboard that randomly jams. If it happens while I'm typing, it will spam said letter for an extended period of time, and nothing I can do makes it stop. It can happen to any key, even the spacebar. It also happens often enough that it goes from mildly convenient to really fucking annoying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 329

Backwards world

By SilverRaven77 - 19/01/2021 23:01

Today, I was fired from my job for wearing a mask. The manager said I must have Covid, since I was the only one wearing a mask and following state mandated orders. I told him, "I'll see you in court!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 232

Restraining order time

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 16:00

Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend yet again decided to eat at the restaurant I work at. It’s traumatizing to me, and I think that’s why he does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 179

By Anonymous - 19/05/2019 14:15

Today, I walked into work on time, went into my office, sat down and turned on the computer. After working for about 4 hours, my wife called and told me to look at the clock on my computer. I put it off until after lunch, when I realized today is Sunday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 1 367

The bitch is back

By Kayladuh - 09/02/2021 21:30

Today, I overheard a co-worker tell the new guy not to talk to me because I'm a bitch. Apparently, she didn't like it when I told her two weeks ago that she had a drinking problem, which was affecting her work ethic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 258

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 194

Christine

By Anonymous - 15/02/2021 02:01

Today, after waiting a week for an update on my car after the engine blew, all covered by warranty, I was informed that my car is under investigation for warranty fraud. This is its fourth engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 127

Time to ditch

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 19:58 - Czech Republic - Prostejov

Today, I'm worried senseless over my mom who's in hospital in an induced coma due to COVID-19, and my boyfriend complains that I don't want to have sex with him as often as he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 597

You deserved it 182

By TheStudentNurse - 18/11/2016 00:07

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 857

You deserved it 612

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Sam - 25/04/2022 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was prepared for it to be difficult being a parent, but it's actually super easy. What I wasn't prepared for was just how boring it would be after my husband returned to work and I was left alone. All she does is sleep, so the whole house is scrubbed clean, and I'm climbing the walls from sheer bloody boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 490

Bye then!

By SadRoll - 02/06/2022 18:00 - India - Hyderabad

Today, after more than two years of saying that I'm depressed and I need professional help, that my husband always rejects, saying, "You can always talk to me, my dear," he finally said that I'm his biggest problem in life, he's not happy with me, and wants me to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 251

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 22:00

Today, I visited with my cousin on her deathbed. When I asked what she was doing, they replied that she was sleeping. Next thing out my mouth without thinking was, "She can sleep when she's dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 2 457

By Zedscar - 16/07/2017 04:30 - United States - Martinsburg

Today, my 8-year-old nephew told me he liked the way I smelt. Apparently I smell like "cat food and cheese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 888

You deserved it 654

Outsmarted

By Anonymous - 19/05/2022 06:00

Today, I'm an adjudicator for our school's debate team, collectively I have over 20 years experience both as a debater and as an adjudicator, and yet I have no idea how my daughter manages to convince me she deserves an extra dessert and to stay up an hour past bedtime every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 010

By Anonymous - 09/08/2019 20:00

Today, my boss came to see me because he'd heard that I was homeless. I'm not homeless, and the rumour was started by a friend of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 123

I hate my life

By Anonymous - 09/04/2021 02:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I woke up and remembered that I'm in law school. Now, I'm about to go to sleep, and I'm still in law school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 1 027

Emotional support

By Anonymous - 17/04/2021 08:00

Today, I was complaining to my Nana about why I can’t get a date. She proceeded to point out my appearance, lack of brains, abrasive personality, poor clothing choices, tacky tattoos, and so on. Thanks Nana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 1 320

Toxic workplace

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 08:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I quit my job because I wasn't given the time or space to pump for my newborn child. I went back to work 4 weeks postpartum, and they suggested I pump in the bathroom, my car or the freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 275

By atleastwedidntdie - 02/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was supposed to be sipping margaritas on a beach in Mexico. Too bad we only made it 37 miles before getting in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 572

You deserved it 305

The world is your oyster

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 21:30

Today, the guy I really love, and who apparently loves me too, told me he just can’t be with me because he’s moving away to buy an oyster farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 100

Tactical

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 19:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered the hard way that training in martial arts means nothing when the thug harassing your wife at the bar has a mate stood behind you ready, willing, and able to kick you square in the balls with a toe-capped work boot while you’re getting into your correct fighting stance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 372

Sashay away!

By Anonymous - 12/09/2017 20:00

Today, someone called out "Ma'am!" while approaching me from behind, but then said "Oops, sir!" when I turned around. I was wearing a corset and miniskirt with leggings. They were correct the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 778

You deserved it 398

Let's not do this again someday

By Crushed - 17/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on what I thought was a solo outing with my longtime crush. He decided to invite a friend along. I had to pick her up half an hour away from town, he treated her to the movie we were watching while I had to pay for myself, he fingered her in the theatre, and made out with her on the drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 149

Social anxiety

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 06:00

Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 754

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 05/11/2023 21:00

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 323

Red Sox Nation

By Anonymous - 25/09/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called saying that she wanted to break up because she wasn't into me anymore. Yesterday, I paid $400 to take her to a Red Sox game, so I asked her why she even came with me. She said that she had been talking to her ex-boyfriend, and he said he was going to that game too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 164

Sniffer dog

By Anonymous - 08/08/2022 18:00

Today, after a guy I really liked and we decided to have sex, and he gagged and told me I stank when he got 'down there', I broke up with him, badly, but it's now a week later and I’m in hospital with a severe infection down there. He was right, and now he won’t take me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 2 153

Going pro

By DDboy - 13/10/2019 22:00

Today, I got yelled at by one of the managers at my store for tucking in my shirt in the crew room. She called it unprofessional and offensive. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 150

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 13:59 - Australia - Epping

Today, my disability job agent, who's supposed to help me find work that fits my limitations, told me to immediately withdraw from a job offer that suited me, because it didn't meet her "benchmark". She then told me that she would decide what's "appropriate" for me, and if I don't comply, my support will be revoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 101

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The Top

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 202

You deserved it 3 173

Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 623

You deserved it 3 517

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 762

You deserved it 43 213

Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 3 860

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 7 years has been communicating extensively with his ex, who lives out of state, for over 6 months. She booked flights and a hotel nearby in a month and invited him. He didn't say no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 867

You deserved it 364

Today, I boarded my very first cruise, in order to relax and unwind for week-long vacation. However, when I got on the ship, I found out that I get seasick REALLY easily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 163