Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
Today, I finally had a man say, "I love you" to me in a sincere tone. It was a customer, who was high, over the phone. I said it back. FML
Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML
Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML
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Top comments
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Grab his face, compliment it, then utter "but we cannot be together".
Semi_Interested 3
That man obviously knows whats up. Take it as a compliment.
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Comments (176)
xLIGHTS_fml 23
Did he think you were santa?
OffToTheGayBar 9
I personally think you should've grabbed him by the testicles, got in real close, beard inches from his face, and said, "These," punctuated by a squeeze, "are mine now. And you, you are too; you're going to be my bitch."
Freakophiliac 12
You've done this before, haven't you?
OffToTheGayBar 9
Yes, yes I have, but I got 'em from behind; it's much more terrifying that way. The thought of penetration will frighten most creepers away. :D Especially penetration from a... NINJA!
Freakophiliac 12
Ninja penetration- the most common death cause in Japan. True story.
Candice0687 0
you should look up the word creepy in the dictionary and I'm sure you will, find his picture next to the of definition of creepy
cherryllollo 7
ew thats not beard at all. i mean weird.
carolenaa 0
Do you happen to be Bryan Wilson ?
graphicstyle7 17
Thank you, fellow Floridian, for re-affirming how strange this state is...
c_bell18 2
Brian Wilson?!
silentblack 0
That was gay
eirianna 0
Omg that's hilarious! Weird people like that give you something to talk about for the rest of your life lol.
shawn2rc 6
And I'd do it again if I had the chance. Lol jk.