Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
Today, I told someone “You too” when they'd said “Sorry for your loss” after I'd mentioned that I recently lost my dog to cancer. I realized what I'd said immediately and tried to fix it by talking more, which somehow made it worse. FML
Today, I was in bar and got talking to a guy next to me, who turned out to be American, which is quite exotic in my part of the UK. During the conversation, he mentioned being a vet, so I went on a long tangent about my cat's diarrhoea and asked him for advice. He let me babble on for ages before smiling and saying, "Not that kind of vet." FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding and was seated at a table with a bunch of strangers. To break the ice, I told a funny story about my dog. Turns out one of the guests is an animal behaviorist and spent the next hour explaining how I’ve been raising him all wrong. Thanks for the unsolicited advice during cocktail hour. FML
Today, I went to a job interview and had a brilliant answer prepared for a common job interview question, but as soon as the interviewer asked what my main qualities were, my mind went blank and I blurted out, "I like turtles." FML
Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML
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Top comments
SundayNightSix 23
Oh those Freudian slips..
Amanyyyyyy 29
Nice going, OP...
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Comments (142)
izzy5555 4
The punishment of bragging about what you know
loathingloser 14
Ahahah
Fmlsea 28
oh dear that is definitely a fyl moment . I hope the person you said that too, understood that what you said was a misunderstanding. Dont be upset tho op everyone has times where we say the wrong thing weather its from talking too fast, not thinking before speaking or speaking before thinking. next time try talking slower and think about what your saying .
cbearflippa91600 12
Now I have an example when I tell my teens why they shouldn't swear.
Smoothiemuch 8
Just what I wanted to say! Lmao
Slimma 20
You definitely deserved that. The profanity wasn't even necessary but you just had to insert it.
Mimical 3
Tbh I think he/she kind of deserves it because I seem to notice ppl seem not to think their answer though before they say it. So op you deserve it for not thinking how to word it
kittyfrozen 19
sometimes, people should try to stop including "*******" to every word said
pinkyponky 2
Oops!
EXOPH 8
Thats what you get for using the f word on a daily basis
Mimical 3
Do you even know who really cares people come on this app/site to cry about how bad there life is. Instead of thinking hmm my life could be worse ex. People in 3rd world country's, murder victims, rape. So tbh these people don't have it as bad as some.