Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I explained to my boyfriend that I want to get my tubes tied, because I don’t want kids and can’t stand the fear of getting pregnant by accident, despite contraception, which has happened before. He summarized: “So, the main point is to preserve your fertility, right?” Wrong. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML
Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML
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Top comments
kinky44 28
Everyone knows genitals don't work until you get a marriage license and the state activates them.
PickledSweets 22
Oh, how I fear for the future of America.
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Comments (145)
PickledSweets 22
Oh, how I fear for the future of America.
badluckalex 23
I fear for the guy op was talking to once his mind is blown because he got a college girl pregnant
askullnamedbilly 33
Hey, at least you won't have to fear for the future of America's birth rates. I sense a lot of unplanned pregnancies coming up in that college this poor idiot is going to. Let's just hope he doesn't get laid or doesn't believe in premarital sex, then his lack of knowledge might not actually become an issue.
Stakely 4
My first thought was the student actually got you to waste an hour explaining it when he probably did understand to begin with.
KingreX32 21
thats how we all thought at that age.
JBChristian 47
Not all, with this modern perverse world kids know this stuff at 5. All you need to own is a TV.
lexiale 10
When I was younger I thought you just bought babies at the store
Pat_Tricksta 13
Why are you assuming this is in America?
soulofkonoha09 7
maybe because OPs profile says their from the United States?
nyctophobia 5
oh, how I fear for ignorant stereotypes like you. you know 3rd world countries are more ignorant than Americans. Not to mention, most of the people in American aren't American and come from different countries because they can't stand their own country.Besides, how do you know this took place in America? othee countries have colleges too, dipshit. Educate yourself.
nyctophobia 5
and just because they are from the united states doesn't mean they are still living there jack ass.
KristaAaronn 25
Faith in humanity is now shattered. Thank you OP.
jerryj 27
Because of one dumbass?
daisylokes 16
there's alot of dummies these days, no saben nada.. /: lol but somebody's gotta teach them though.
billie_joann 10
There's always someone making this comment on a FML post; congratulations on making it the second comment. But I don't understand how you hold one person responsible for all humanity. Haha, silly girl.
TheTacoMan 24
There are always stupid people no matter where you go or what time it is
r00nie 10
too bad you kept all your faith on one idiot
nyctophobia 5
there are way more people like this college student, dumb ass.
Redoxx_fml 22
Did you have to use the birds and the bees?
rks01 13
some one missed sex-ed classes
Queenie2014 11
That is if the school even offered it
kpohil 13
that or he just believes in family.
meowimmakat 23
When a boy and a girl really love each other......
domolovesyoshi 33
they don't need to love each other to procreate, they just need either be attracted to each other or have really bad luck.
Redoxx_fml 22
...And preferably when they're of the age of consent
KK3137 31
As preferable as it is for them to be of age, it's not actually a necessary factor, so technically, no..
BaldoktheMystic 3
That hasn't stopped middle school kids
Rcmpbell 6
They get nude and wrestle
bosox29 14
Or you can always start the old talk off with when two people get really drunk...
kinky44 28
Everyone knows genitals don't work until you get a marriage license and the state activates them.
Pleonasm 36
That explains Vegas.
SundayNightSix 23
Well, doesn't the bride's one true love have the only key like in that fantastic and true to life movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights?
Welshite 40
Yeah, except that the key didn't fit the lock. That's why chastity belts are bad, kids.
cakefete2 31
Everyone knows robin hood men in tights was a documentary. The movie producers stuck to a strictly historical telling of accounts.
Ieri 31
Funniest thing I've read in a while. My respects xD
skyeyez9 25
Dont give our govt any ideas!
BaldoktheMystic 3
People trying to hack their genitals to make them work before marriage will be known as nutcrackers
nyahz1 7
#yes! Ur comment made my day literally lmao
emirie 21
Apparently his parents never gave him the talk.
spoo 24
No child left behind, huh what?
MissJojo_fml 4
Nope, NCLB couldn't care less about sex ed until someone can make a standardized test in it.
cakefete2 31
Then the old joke about a woman getting an "f" in sex might come true.
RedPillSucks 33
It's the childs right behind that you have to really look out for... (no pedo)
rocker_chick23 27
Abstinence only education strikes again.
skyeyez9 25
Or his IQ is 43.
Marielle_T 10
This fml shows why sex ed classes should be mandatory in high school. I feel for you OP, it must have been quite an annoying conversation to have.
SMHsohard 22
Sex Ed needs to start earlier, both at home and in school. If you wait until high school, you potentially have a complete reality show cast.
TXFernwoods 26
In Texas, I took sex in in 7th Grade (Middle School). It was mandatory.
parism143 28
Where I live, we don't ever get an actual sex ed class, but they explained the basics in 6th grade and then went into immense detail in 9th grade science class.
pam241 15
High school? I fear it may be too late by then. it should be in elementary school. kids nowadays start very early
horneyhic 15
They start with the basics of what all the parts are in 5th grade here and are on contraception by 9th grade
triplebeerox 27
i had my first sex ed class in 3rd grade then in the 5th and 6th grades and then once again in 9th grade. I don't remember seeing any pregnant girls so I feel that my school district did pretty well in that aspect.
aintmypants 2
High School is too late.