Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML
Today, at the funeral home where I work, I asked my boss if it was time to "bring out the stiff". I didn't realize the guy's family was not only in the building, but within earshot as well. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML
Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
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Top comments
Susan Yee 9
So secretly you’ve been possessed by that person’s ghost.
JackWood 21
Could have been a different involuntary muscle movement. You should consider yourself lucky considering the job.
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Comments (9)
Susan Yee 9
So secretly you’ve been possessed by that person’s ghost.
RichardPencil 32
It? You don't know which gender you committed necrophilia with?
Taylor Caldwell 10
It is a corpse. No longer a living being. Why would you need to gender a corpse?
distortedcognition 17
So you compressed the chest. Big deal.
kfchicken 31
people don't like anyone breathing in their face nevermind a dead person. get over yourself.
JackWood 21
Could have been a different involuntary muscle movement. You should consider yourself lucky considering the job.
Miss_Red 18
i dont mean to get all dark but although I honestly do understand why you would have to have a certain level of mental detatchment, that person was a human being. You really shouldnt be in that line of sensitive work if you are referring your very recently passed client as an 'it', especially if he/she died right in front of you.
0h_Boy 26
It's called HIPPA regulations. Revealing a person's name or gender in the medical field is illegal. Ergo, using "it" as a gender referral
lateralligator 12
I was doing a transfer once and the deceased made that huhhhh air noise and the security guard TOOK OFF RUNNING. he left me there to find my way back up the service elevators