Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, I was out walking downtown. A woman walking behind the thought that my pants were hanging too low. She came over to me and yanked my pants up. FML
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML
Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, a woman had a wardrobe malfunction right in front of me. As if that's not awkward enough, that woman was my own mother. FML
Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
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Top comments
camsterjoe 12
Some people would be delighted to have that sort of action.
Dracoboxer357 36
Butt I'll bet you'll never forget to check for it from now on, will you? ;)
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Comments (120)
Daschundman 17
How do you know it was a finger...
Gardevoir_fml 12
All of these comments are just terrible
olpally 33
Yours is the worst comment! Lol.
newburton13 26
I would've punched her down the escalator, that's sexual harassment in my book.
MzZombicidal 36
You seem to have a pretty strict book!
KVKdragon 26
I don't get why this is so down voted. I'd do the same thing or something similar (like pushing her away) . I don't let strangers touch me without permission (no jokes please about if I do give permission to random strangers -_-)
MzZombicidal 36
Because she was probably trying to help and absentmindedly fixed it. Who knows, she could have immediately realized her mistake a little too late and was embarrassed as well. How would punching or pushing down an escalator be equal to tucking a pant tag in? Give her a break!
DDCA 24
Cracks kills. Strippers thrill, then take all your money and buy themselves pills. But seriously OP, she could have at least bought you or Orange Julius or a corn dog before trying to get to third base on the escalator with you.
HortonThelephant 15
You get a thumbs up from me! I think this community gets too easily bent out of shape on occasion. I can understand being reprimanded for for the obvious and mundane, but if you genuinely have a sentiment you wish to further express, I say go for it!
D3ATHZ3RO 15
****** weirdo
Zebediabolical 45
Isn't that fifth base aka home run?
sabrinaacrow 26
I love your name "violatedbuttcrack"
Zebediabolical 45
When we were in high school we'd leave our shirt tags out on purpose. Just to get the girls to tuck them in for us. Yeah, pretty lame I know, but if they didn't like you they wouldn't do it. I guess it was a sort of barometer.
davek 36
At least, not in public.