Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, I was out walking downtown. A woman walking behind the thought that my pants were hanging too low. She came over to me and yanked my pants up. FML
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML
Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, a woman had a wardrobe malfunction right in front of me. As if that's not awkward enough, that woman was my own mother. FML
Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
camsterjoe 12
Some people would be delighted to have that sort of action.
Dracoboxer357 36
Butt I'll bet you'll never forget to check for it from now on, will you? ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
camsterjoe 12
Some people would be delighted to have that sort of action.
tonijulie 20
I even hate it when people do it to my tops! That sucks! But a funny story. :)
thepunman 11
Forever alone level: Noor
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
I'd rather have someone tuck in my tag on my shirt than walk around with my tag out like a doofus. Haha.
Dracoboxer357 36
Butt I'll bet you'll never forget to check for it from now on, will you? ;)
thepunman 11
He didn't ass you.
rg350dx 29
You guys are crackin' me up
Soloman212 28
I agree, OP should have thanked her for her assistance and turned the other cheek to the rear intrusion.
MrBrightside21 20
It's a rear occasion to see this many consistent puns.
UnidentifiedFun 37
Yeah, we're very anal about keeping the thread going.
Bano360 25
Oh God, I'd be mortified.
Original_Outcast 23
Her OCD has nothing on Death the Kid
i_luv_dogs 10
SOUL EATER!
blcksocks 19
I still think it is better than having a stranger's finger in your butthole.
JFloUnknown 24
Or hump you when you bend over for change.
Ins0mau 20
Have you tried it, 7?
uhmaizing 3
I think technically that would be like a one night stand
AnimeBitch 14
DA FUQ?
Norja 33
You're probably right but I can't say at the time I was thinking "glad it didn't go all the way in!"
skyeyez9 25
I bet you felt like you were in airport security with the TSA.
MrConcise 35
I can see the next big headline. "Mall escalators: The best place to hijack a plane."
gc327072 31
37/ I've seen some nonsensical comments, but that takes the cake.
jackaced 7
I'm sure your full body shiver told her she did something unacceptable!
slowlybreakingme 14
Either that or she thought OP strongly enjoyed it!
thepunman 11
Mind you some people would pay for that.
Dracoboxer357 36
12- Allow me to represent the "unsilent majority" in saying I am not one of them that would. :p
thepunman 11
I'll admit, my comment was pretty stupid.
Dracoboxer357 36
24- Aww, no worries, perhaps I was just a fingertouch too anal with you in my response. ;) Cheers!
jackaced 7
And buttcrack money