Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, for the third time, I had to tell my stepfather to stop using my razor. It seems when I told him last time that I use it on my armpits, that only encouraged the behaviour. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, my nose hair scares him. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
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Top comments
xlord 27
Leave him alone.... I think he's going to have an imaginary divorce soon anyway
andrew_thomson 9
He must be smokin' some heavy dubies!
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Comments (77)
xlord 27
Leave him alone.... I think he's going to have an imaginary divorce soon anyway
XenaWP 6
Maybe he and his prostitute have taken their relationship to the next level.
claudio117 12
Or he was on the phone .....
VickLynx 6
Or maybe he is talking to his dead wife?
xlord 27
He just happens to be on the phone everyday yelling at a crazy bitch?
iam_yummylicious 12
OR... Ohemgee, he has a caretaker? *gasp* - Who woulda thunk?
SCREAM4meeee 0
Take it easy on him, he just doesn't want to shave his nose hair.
conan13_fml 0
Maybe he has a visiting nurse, or one or his children/grandchildren who come every day to help/visit him.
ibestef 1
maybe its toby from paranormal activity 3 :o
rawrriri 8
Or maybe he talks to himself.
TheNewGuy03 29
Or grandpa doesn't give a **** about what you think. |the kid|
folgy 10
You get a pineapple put a wig on in and draw a face on it and one night leave it at his door knock and run the crazy shit you would probably hear would be priceless
Daralea 21
yes xlord. His kids could call everyday to check up on him. And you obviously haven't had to put up with the wrath of a controlling daughter.
gotaphd 6
He is just messing with you OP
lexa1love 16
Maybe a infomercial came on?
andrew_thomson 9
He must be smokin' some heavy dubies!
leadman1989 16
Cocaine is one helluva drug!
corporatescoundr 25
Rick James!
Every1luvsfmls 6
This "Old man" actually bangs a different girl every night.
thingamajiga 5
schitzophrenic perhaps?
ShakeMeDown 12
Or possibly he has a phone? Nah, he's not that hip.
wazdog 4
Perhaps OP is the crazy one imagining voices.
leadman1989 16
4 - And boom goes the dynamite!!!
leadman1989 16
A person hearing voice that hear voices? Schizoception!
xbrit551 13
Oohh crazy old man :o
danielabella94 0
That sounds annoying but I do feel bad for him!
aissie 2
Why? He never has to be alone.
danielabella94 0
True! :) I just feel bad that he's crazy!
aissie 2
That's the best kind!
iimadoki 0
Lol, run as fast as you can!!
FYLDeep 26
He's probably trolling people on ChatRoulette.
VickLynx 6
And how is that possible?
beatdownbarbie 5
Oh you're one of the random 9 out of 10 dicks on there. Lol that's why I never stayed on that site. It was like trying to play duck duck goose...but no goose.
metallicshadow 16
send his ass to the sanitarium
Enslaved 38
Sanitarium, leave me be Sanitarium, just leave me alone
aFreedom127 9
You're never alone until the voices go away.