Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, for the third time, I had to tell my stepfather to stop using my razor. It seems when I told him last time that I use it on my armpits, that only encouraged the behaviour. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, my nose hair scares him. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
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Top comments
xlord 27
Leave him alone.... I think he's going to have an imaginary divorce soon anyway
andrew_thomson 9
He must be smokin' some heavy dubies!
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Comments (77)
HomeAl0ne 20
Next time you pass him in the hall, stare at his nose and keep touching your own. Let's work on him till he cracks!
KiddNYC1O 22
That's a bit startling.
daydreamer244 13
Ah you gotta love crazy people :P
All_Blacks 2
Now who's the crazy bitch?
malincake 7
Aww, poor old man. Be nice! Go and make friends with him, he probaly needs one!
insidejokeswithm 0
Commercial, maybe?
dancersinger124 7
Haha... I love old people ;)
montagicals 0
Today, I had to pretend to be angry at an imaginary female friend so my neighbor downstairs would think I have a life. FML
bertisevil 3
harsh, on the plus side hilarious for anyone reading it :)
MsMeiriona 2
You know, there is this little invention called a telephone, that lets you speak to people not physically present with you?