Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML
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Top comments
chingthecreator 4
She's a boss.
yamatelle 19
I hate to say it, but your mom is ******* awesome!
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Comments (68)
miller_craig 0
hahaha your mom is aweaome. ask her if we all can come over and smoke.
smokeymcpottt 3
Salt and vinegar chips.
Fiyahcracker 1
Pot hasn't ever killed anyone.
joey_rdz 0
I don't smoke but I used to smoke alot. I find nothing wrong with pot, its natural. I can only drink now because of my job, and I enjoy drinking at bars and clubs even though I know alcohol is very detrimental to our health.. but prohibition is a b**ch.. is all big business.>:(
mistersheezy 7
She'll talk about weed tomorrow, focus on the subject at hand......not in her hand.
jewfro420 0
your moms better off then you are pot is much safer less addictive and ruins less lives take a page out of her book u proabably drive home drunk she proabably eats munchies and watches cartoons and waits for the call that u were in a car accident under the influence or was arressted for dui
THE_A_TEEN 28
Can a legitimate doctor tell me wtf is actually health threatning about weed?
toelie 26
I'm no doctor, but I hope you still believe me when I say smoking causes cancer. Smoking weed is no different from smoking tobacco.
LouisianaBob 9
There are no doctors on the subject only potheads and politicians.
DKjazz 20
DocBastard, where are you? Answer his question so I can get my lulz fix for the day.
Razzed 4
I'm not a doctor, but according to pretty much any study that was ever done on the effects of marijuana(either short or long term), not much, other than the fact that it is illegal, and therefore it is not always grown in the greatest of soil conditions. They have found a small correlation with the onset of schizophrenia in young adulthood, but this seems to affect people who used marijuana chronically as adolescents. There are of course going to be carcinogens that are inhaled if the marijuana is ingested through smoke, but there are other ways of ingesting the matter without burning it. You can create butter out of the leaf material and then eat it, or you can vapourize the leaf and inhale the crystal vapours. If you want more references, or just something interesting to watch in regards to the subject, look for a documentary called "The Union". It's biased of course, but it contains a lot of information and gives you some reference points to do more research on your own.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
61, Using weed does not mean you have to smoke it. The effects you're referring to are caused by SMOKE, not the weed itself.
s0m3guy2010 21
I'm not a doctor, but I had to do a study on this last year. The side effects can include short term memory loss, high blood pressure, and can cause some damage to your lungs if you smoke weed for many years. However, this does not necessarily mean that everyone will experience all of these.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Maybe you're right. Anyways, we're getting off topic a bit. Point is, stick with weed. It's safer and more natural than any other drug with virtually no risk of dependency.
Razzed 4
Because marijuana smoke actually hasn't been shown to cause cancer and it actually seems to correlate to lower incidences of lung cancer. Tobacco smoke is much more harmful to the user by many orders of magnitude.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
82, Then I suggest reading about it anyway, because these issues come up regardless of whether you yourself ever use drugs or not. Since their use in the US is gaining, it will be beneficial to you in some way or another. If anything, it will help you better understand the people who do them. To answer your question, that would be because cigarettes are filled with over 400 unregulated chemicals undisclosed to the consumer. Weed for the most part tends to be clean, and even if it's contaminated with something, it wouldn't be even close to what is and could be in cigarettes. It also medicinal benefits, the very concept of which is completely absent from cigarettes. Let's not leave out the fact that it's not as addictive. I'm not a stoner myself, but I also don't like seeing all the false statements about it being spread around.
rattusrattus 19
I don't know about health benefits/detriments, but my father on weed would be far more hilarious than my father with a regular tobacco cigarette.
illmatic2 16
Doc already made a good list of the affects (effects?) of weed on a previous FML. Whether you admit it or not, you all know that marijuana isn't good for you. It doesn't take a doctor to figure that one out.
perdix 31
Wait til after she smokes the joint before you leave for the bar. She won't give a shit when she's high. It's funny how some potheads can be so militant about alcohol being more harmful than weed. I thought it was supposed o make them mellow.
fudawee 4
Legalize it!
XAnNiHiLaTiOn 6
Actually it would be stupid to legalize it, if you did the government would have so many other laws on it and the price would skyrocket
ShroomsOnAcid 17
At least decriminalize it. Too many people who did nothing "wrong" hog the resources and crowd the prison space that would much better be put to use containing actual criminals. The whole prison system is screwed up, anyway.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Couch lock, being hungry, being sleepy, and laughing your ass off at nothing does not count as "losing control". It's a side effect. Anyone who has ever smoked could tell you that. I smoke and I live a great life. I just started a new job, I'm engaged to be married (fiancé DOES NOT smoke), and I'm in the process of buying a house. Don't give me that bullshit about "people who smoke are weak". I'm plenty in control of myself, as well as my life. It's just a matter of buying the cheaper, lower quality weed when that's all you can afford. For instance, if you spend $120 a week for the good stuff when you can pay around $50-60 for MORE of the cheap shit, and you only make $300 a week, you're screwing yourself financially, and that's where people run into problems with weed.
Razzed 4
I know right? It's like how alcohol is so expensive now, and there are like so many regulations on it that it's practically impossible to even buy it or brew it yourself. I tell you, it wasn't like that when alcohol was illegal. You could go down to the street alley and buy a 60 of whisky for a penny, and oh boy, you knew you got a good batch when you woke up blind the next morning next to something that sounded an awful lot like an actual coyote. Did you know that nowadays teenagers can't even go to the bar and get a beer if they want? It's OUTRAGEOUS! That's to 105 BTW.
julia_lynn 21
LOL, your mom's priorities are amazing, OP.