Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chingthecreator 4
She's a boss.
yamatelle 19
I hate to say it, but your mom is ******* awesome!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
b0n3r1f1c 0
I moderated this one ;)
SwtCherryPie 26
Id rather be around a pothead than an alcoholic any day.
ckilla421 0
Could be worse. She could give you a lecture while smoking her crack pipe. Count your blessings, my friend.
Ren_Baby 0
alcohol < weed . 'Nuff said.
Blazar420 15
There's nothing wrong with smoking... Besides, smoking pot is waaay cheaper than drinking at a bar, especially if you drink the good stuff.
jefffluffingham 5
well, alcohol is bad for you. weed, not so much.
eastsideLVc 0
no its not weed is not a drug its a plant
docscientist 10
Weed contains a drug, you pothead. It's just a very pleasant drug.
carlosm21 6
My DAD could use a joint ! Ahaha
guitarplayer546 0
I don't do drugs, I just smoke weed
docscientist 10
No, it's a drug. Lying about what weed is or isn't doesn't help anyone.
CassieMarieee 7
What a role model :) haha