Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML
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Top comments
chingthecreator 4
She's a boss.
yamatelle 19
I hate to say it, but your mom is ******* awesome!
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Comments (68)
scottgeo 0
At least she wont get picked up for DUI or wreck her car. If your going to get ****** up do it at home.
codymaas01 0
Your mom is a ******* bad ass
ChristinaAAR 14
Ahh, the irony :)
duscks57 5
Smoke that weed with her
duscks57 5
Smoke that weed with her
immortal628 20
You guys talk about what a cool mom she must be, but I know how this shit really goes. I get the same kinda shit at home. "Do as I say, not as I do" is not very good parenting.
chujel1302 1
Did she offer to share?
alaskanhybrid 5
Why do you wast money at bars knowing they rip you off. Liquor stores cheaper ftw.
pfx2_fml 15
I'll trade you moms
liamcumby 4
I dont even think ur life sux, its just funny