Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ex texted me being all flirty and sexual and yet was never like that when we were together. Not long later, his new girlfriend messaged me saying, "Stop messaging my man, he doesn't want you back." FML
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, after my boyfriend told me I didn’t have to worry about the ex who kept commenting on his pictures, I saw him sexting her when I leaned forward to tell him something from the back of our friend's car. FML
Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
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Top comments
socialproduct 19
I think "go **** yourself" would be the appropriate response. Both as advice and as a general response to her inconsiderate question.
KingKralj 31
Well, did you tell her? Ya can't leave the story unfinished!
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Comments (31)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You tell her it's easier to show than tell.
AirBusDriver 23
I'm thinking she was hittin on you by bringing up sex stuff... bet you'll be banging each other again if you're up for it!
polsen4273 8
Can everyone on here be so dense? She texted he ex saying her current bf cant please her. She is indirectly asking for some discreet dick and making sure op understands she has a bf. She wants op to cross the line for her.
marxor 2
is she trying to make you intervene now? i am pretty sure you could charge for counseling. i woulf also take it as a compliment that clearly means she misses your ways
lilithfury 23
Watch out. She's just playing a game. Either she wants you to **** her, wants you to want her, or is trying to make her man feel easily replaceable and like shit.
GOLD3NxWARRIOR 25
Although it's very inconsiderate on her end, it could also be a compliment to you. "Yeah we just didn't work out, but damn did you do a good job at *insert sexual behavior here*". Then again, I could be wrong. It's hard giving input with the smal amount of characters allowed