Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, an ex of mine told me she wanted a threesome. This was great until I realised I wasn't included. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I have been trying to get back together with, texted me. He asked me how life was going, he then asked me if I had the naked picture of him saved on my phone. I asked him why. He replied that he wanted to send it to his crush. FML
Today, the guy I've been seeing asked me to have a threesome. With his girlfriend. FML
Today, my ex texted me being all flirty and sexual and yet was never like that when we were together. Not long later, his new girlfriend messaged me saying, "Stop messaging my man, he doesn't want you back." FML
Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort of booty call. FML
Today, I had a threesome with my ex and his female friend. He went down on her almost immediately, which he never did in the 14 months that we dated. FML
Today, my fiancée asked for a threesome. I don't want it. I think I'm now single. FML
Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come back. His answer: "feeling-wise I won't come back to you, but sexually, why not". FML
Today, my ex messaged me on Facebook, wanting to be friends with benefits. I’m married now, and he just found out his wife is expecting. She discovered the messages, and I’m now the “home wrecker.” FML
Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML
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Top comments
klol101 11
Take a screenshot of that, spread it around and show the world what a douchebag he is....
Steve95401 49
What a douchebag!
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Comments (92)
Steve95401 49
What a douchebag!
helptheorphans 17
It could have been his friend on his phone... Or OP's ex is seriously messed up
whatarethisss 23
Maybe OPs ex would rather have a threesome with OP than someone else.
militarybrat 21
Why? Only people who are douchebags want threesomes?
Mynxie 26
Just because he would rather have a 3sum with his ex because he knows her does not make the question any less ****** up.
DoomedGemini 38
The issue isn't that he wants a threesome, but he asked an ex that he obviously isn't friends with and I'm guessing the relationship didn't end well.
SBurrke 11
He just wanted to see if you were single and wanted a threesome? What's the big deal fml? People can be whiny bitches.
WhoopteDo 26
No hard feelings right? Totally...
DoomSkuller 28
He's got a different kind of hard feeling...
FMLollipop 8
Well, did you?
derangedplanet 23
Okay that's almost as dispicable as ops ex.
Metalslipp 15
Well, I'm going to take an extremely wild guess and say no, #3.
crudeandrudeguy 29
His question actually isn't as stupid as it sounds. My wife and I did it with my ex... Mind you we were all friends after the break up for a long time
starlandmarie 22
I searched through the comments just to find one that said this.... inquiring FML users wanna know.
cheeeksss 29
Idk 36, I'm pretty sure OP stated that her and her ex had no communication for the past year. Which probably meant they were not on the best of terms after the break up.
saraaa2552 15
Well did you say yes
darkstarrising 18
Does he even have a brain?
Miss_Whipped 43
This made me think of the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.
ShleeG 23
But... Scarecrow had a brain the whole time... lol
SBurrke 11
Do you have something against threesomes?
Mandie86 15
He needs to make like a tree and **** off! If anybody watches TPB you'll get the reference, lol.
momo3p 22
TBP?
mds9986 24
Trees can't **** off because they can't move.
snowy0413 16
#28 A tree just came and knocked on my door....he told me that you're a little bitch
Bibblejomin 18
#8 Trailer Park Boys
mds9986 24
Well I highly doubt that happened, 33. You may want to get your head examined of it did.
derangedplanet 23
the original joke is like a tree and leaf. but in tbp they **** it up and it's beautiful. the rest of you just seriously lack in the intelligence department
mds9986 24
Not getting a reference doesn't mean somebody is stupid. You, however, may be lacking in that department if you think so.
vikky538 29
And what made him think that he can ask you that.
IridianShadow 20
How could he.... approach the subject matter like that? You ease into those things, not bulldoze into them. Some people.
8Dirty1 24
did you accept?
beeferjay 34
where's your Christmas spirit?!?!
sam882 28
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