Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my ex texted me being all flirty and sexual and yet was never like that when we were together. Not long later, his new girlfriend messaged me saying, "Stop messaging my man, he doesn't want you back." FML
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, after my boyfriend told me I didn’t have to worry about the ex who kept commenting on his pictures, I saw him sexting her when I leaned forward to tell him something from the back of our friend's car. FML
Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
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Top comments
socialproduct 19
I think "go **** yourself" would be the appropriate response. Both as advice and as a general response to her inconsiderate question.
KingKralj 31
Well, did you tell her? Ya can't leave the story unfinished!
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Comments (31)
Steffi 26
At least she thought you were good enough to give advice.
VapeNation4Realz 4
Take it as a compliment I guess...?
TXfmylifer 10
Tell her you'll explain techniques first and then demonstrate them to him on her. That should shock her enough to shut her down. Or get you into a bigger mess.
TheNewGuy03 29
On one hand, it's flattery. On the other (bigger) hand, it's ****** up. Good time to tell her to **** off.
BabyCakes818 16
I must say it's the thought that counts. She could have gone to anyone with that request and she chose you.
stayydomii 21
If people were honest with their partners and told them what they wanted sexually then this wouldn't be an issue. It's not that hard, giggity, and it would be less awkward than the awful sex that's happening.
rldostie 19
It all depends how and why you guys broke up. If it was a nasty break up instigated by her, then this is beyond ****** up. Even if it wasn't, this is still a little weird. On the bright side, at least you're doing something right and she remembers your talents fondly. And probably often.
alaina1104 11
Um... Take it as a compliment? I guess?
SKYstlimit 11
take it as a compliment, she wanted better sex and thought of you, I doubt you're the only other person she's slept with but apparently you're who comes to mind when she thinks of good sex and fingering and dirty talk
elsie23 11
Your ex still loves you