Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
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Top comments
MorganXAlexander 6
You had sex with his religious mother in the house? Disrespectful
SirCharles83 13
This is one time where a grammar nazi is needed. Did they: Have sex with his mother, in her house? Or did they Have sex, with her mother in the house. Kind of like good old uncle jack and his horse.
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Comments (135)
duhbaby 10
You have no shame. I would never be able to lose my virginity if my mom or my boyfriends mom was in the house. Shame on you.
S182 15
You are assuming she lost her virginity... She never said she was a virgin. All we know is that it was her first time with that guy.
cougar41 8
That's right she said they made love for the first time. Their first time together as a couple. She never said they were virgins. Point is they shouldn't have in his mothers house
LiterOfCola 16
15 take your judgemental ass off of this website if this really invokes you to type "shame on you"
maddygirl820 10
Good thing you didn't have to see her face to face
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Hair action time.
brittanyrmh_ 12
You ****** in the next room but you weren't allowed to say "sex hair" in the hall? Are you stupid?
angeluv_2014 22
Thank you!! Someone freakin' said it!
S182 15
I think the point was so that the mother wouldn't find out they had sex...
olpally 33
Nice going, blabber mouth... That's rude, inappropriate, and disgusts me... Lol, do it when she's not home you fools... *1,000th comment... *crickets*
emeraldisle 30
Congrats on your 1,000th comment!
olpally 33
Thanks :)
DocBastard 40
I hope you enjoy your trip to Hell. I'm sure your boyfriend's mother will happily be your travel agent.
LordoftheOcelots 10
Who the Hell thumbed down Doc?
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Probably someone with a different sense of humor than him. Good luck pulling your tongue out of Doc's ass, 39.
CrewBoy 10
...Me.
KiddNYC1O 22
I just did. And in the process thumbed up #46.
DocBastard 40
LordoftheOcelots - Apparently it's become taboo to tell a user you like him, as CoffeeChickBlows has proven. KiddNYC1O - This isn't the first time you've made a show of disliking me while proudly announcing that you've thumbed me down. From now on, just proudly thumb me down as you usually do, then proudly **** off.
KiddNYC1O 22
Yes, sir!
CrewBoy 10
I lost my virginity on a beach in hawaii as the sun was setting and the horizon was filled with deep pink and orange. Our moans were muffled by the sounds of birds, the waves crashing and the palm trees swaying in the trade winds. But, you know, Losing it a room away from your boyfriends mom when you can't make any noise sounds cool too.
chellyX92 8
At least their sex was legal.
CrewBoy 10
^ Your life sounds like it sucks.
chellyX92 8
And you just sound like a wanna be frat boy. But you know, that's cool too.
jazzyjazz23 9
If she didn't hear you having sex then I guess she wouldn't hear what you said.
perdix 31
You bliksem fokken doos! You'd better hope the mom's religion celebrates dirty, non-marital sex. Otherwise, you are figuratively ****** as well as in the literal sense.
Welshite 40
Thank you, perdix. I had to google that, which inadvertently made me type profanity.
stfuNOWplease 6
Op don't worry, your boyfriend's mother will be keeping you in prayer. In prayer that her son does not marry a terrible sinner like you. Trust me, those types of mothers are terrible. Nice to have what's forbidden though ;)