Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
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Top comments
MorganXAlexander 6
You had sex with his religious mother in the house? Disrespectful
SirCharles83 13
This is one time where a grammar nazi is needed. Did they: Have sex with his mother, in her house? Or did they Have sex, with her mother in the house. Kind of like good old uncle jack and his horse.
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Comments (135)
unicornpower56 7
Dumbest thing ever, you ****** while your boyfriends mother was in the house. Who the **** does that?
CrewBoy 10
Normal people.
Marrach 7
I'll tell you..Disrespectful "asshats".
unicornpower56 7
I didn't know normal people like almost getting caught having sex, naked with dicks n ******* n boobs out, and it's one of thems mom/dad.
KingCeltic77 18
So you did it while she is in the house and she doesn't seem to notice, and you say sex she gets all mad? You're all dumbasses.
agtxero 2
Lmao!!! Praise Jesus
Kitty9510 5
some comments should be kept to yourself ;)
TheSuperSpicer 6
Sometimes having sex in one of the parents house isn't a completely stupid thing. Like if you are both paying rent. Especially if you only do it while the parents are asleep, on the complete opposite side of the house, and are also making sure to be quiet. Or if they are not home. Depends on your situation.
zuzupetalsYO 11
You did it while his mom was home? Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
infamous56 0
You people need relax. It's really not a big deal and reading all of your comments are very irritating. We r in the 21st century get Over it
Stealthgasm 5
75- exactly this. It's their choice, no one knows if the mother was at home from the start, middle or they just hung out upstairs till the mom came home. But that's irrelevant... People are going to have sex, to everyone saying she's going to hell and saying she's a terrible person, shut the hell up.
lelo007 11
I think people are just pointing out that the level of respect here is none. My mom allowed my ex to live with us, and the only time anything happened is if we were COMPLETELY alone. If my mom is completely supporting me and paying my rent, I think I can keep it in my pants long enough to not do it with family around if that we're my mom's wishes.
NicoleAshley10 0
I hope she didn't hear you because when you meet her it's going to be awkward.
CuriousAlien 7
How romantic! (sarcasm), I bet she was enjoying it too!
BieberIsMyBabee 0
So after the big special "First time" he just walked you home? .. That doesn't sound very um romantic .