Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MorganXAlexander 6
You had sex with his religious mother in the house? Disrespectful
SirCharles83 13
This is one time where a grammar nazi is needed. Did they: Have sex with his mother, in her house? Or did they Have sex, with her mother in the house. Kind of like good old uncle jack and his horse.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
SgtCervantesusmc 0
bless your heart.
BitchSoEpic 0
Obviously she's not a virgin so what does it matter.
TweetAnne 13
If her mom has different views from yours you should respect them. What you two did was disrespectful. You should of at least had the decency to wait until his mom was out of the house.
blueprynt 3
How is this a FML moment? He gave you a warning. Now, if his "incredibly religious" mother didn't know until she heard you say it. Different story. FYL you totally got a FML wrong.
vbmg152 19
How disrespectful can you be? If it were my house, you have a bigger problem than your "sex" hair! Get your own place! YDI
bstudds 1
this FML gives me serious déjà vu because it always has the same effect: 1) people arguing over whether OP was being disrespectful 2) everyone trying to figure out, assume, speculate etc OP's age 3) whether it took place under parent's roof or if the parent lives with OP. oh and I forgot 4) multiple crazies are checking all posts for spelling, punctuation, comma usage and subject verb agreement hoping to showcase their vast and superior knowledge of the English language.
onorexveritas 24
no bueno
reelucy 0
perhaps you now realize why you should wait to have sex wth someone who has their own place and can drive, or when you can drive. considering sex can make babies (really!) you should probably be a bit more responsible before you do it.
HeartOfLead 24
And he has to keep a serious secret, you don't see him exclaiming his problems.
BlookenBslk 9
I seriously don't get this disrespectful stuff. I mean she may be religious and all but I'm pretty sure his mother has had sex while he was home at one point. My parents have sex while people are home. Granted we're supposed to be sleeping but that doesn't change nothing. If my parents can have sex while we're home why can't I have sex while they're home?
lelo007 11
This depends.. Is it a rule you can't have sex in their home? The favorite thing for my mom, and I'm sure a million others to say, "My house, my rules. As long as you don't pay the mortgage, you get to follow our rules." It's really not that hard to NOT have sex in a parent's house.
pengin 13
UHHH well maybe when it's the parents' house, they make the rules?? The parents pay for the house, the heat, electricity etc presumably and of course the parents have every right to have sex in their own house. DERP. Of course, most people would agree it isn't very tasteful to do so when the children are home or knowingly awake etc etc though-- but that's why there is a time and place for everything. You even admitted you were supposed to be asleep-- therefore shouldn't have known. What is a parent to do to know they can have sex in their home? It really is disrespectful if kids have sex at home when the parents are there. I'm not against having sex at one's parents house-- as with the economy, even college grads may have a challenging time to get a place for themselves, so having sex at a parent's house shouldn't necessarily be frowned upon. You definitely shouldn't have sex when the parents are home though- bottom line..