Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MorganXAlexander 6
You had sex with his religious mother in the house? Disrespectful
SirCharles83 13
This is one time where a grammar nazi is needed. Did they: Have sex with his mother, in her house? Or did they Have sex, with her mother in the house. Kind of like good old uncle jack and his horse.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
scuttlebuttz 1
"I meant sexY hair, Mrs. X. Doesn't it look pretty?" And that is how you cover your ass
ShannonBitt 29
You should've played it off by saying he was messing with your hair, and you meant it just looked like sex hair.
doondagr8_1 9
Even if the mother wasn't very religious, it'd still be disrespectful.
TessMaddie 3
Maybe they had sex before the mother got home and then she came back as the girl was getting ready to leave?
douchebag232 2
You people make me angry. " oh thats disrespectful oh this oh that" damn man i give the OP props fer havin the kahonas to pull that off. I had my dad walk in on me two days ago. Me and him laughed about it. People need to grow up and stop being societal robots
TheMystery13 13
You never would have ****** him if his mother hadn't ****** his father, so **** religious people and their problems with *******.
mommy2cassidy 18
I had sex in my mothers house. I paid rent and only had him over when my mom was at work (super awkward if she was in the house lol) my mom only had two rules regarding that 1. No sex on the kitchen table and 2. No sex in her bed. It wasn't even a rule that I have him over while she was out lol. I did it for my sake
trumpet27 1
Oh well.........
lucasj2345 7
you had sex while his incredibly religious mother was in the house? idiot.
cuddlycactus 11
As put by Ssundee; open mouth, insert foot