Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, I accidentally mooed during sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting in the mood. I got on top of him, leaned down to kiss him, and he began to laugh. Puzzled, I asked him why. He told me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I reminded him of a cow, with "udders." Offended, I went to get off him. "No no!" he protested, "a SEXY cow." FML
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Top comments
poetrywriter12 6
Someone's one sheep short of a farm...
Pleonasm 36
Not very amoosing for you? You picked a baad choice for a bootycall then. You udder reconsider picking your partners without doing a baackground check, so that they don't pull the wool over your eyes like that again and leave you unsatisfied. Don't be the kind of Chick that clucks with foul cocks.
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Comments (107)
aerogxt 7
Must've been mating season
emilypitt92 3
Current bootycall?? Do you get a new bootycall each month or something??
Zacham 5
You don't get intimate with a bootycall. You have sex with them
grands138 4
Yep, that's how they do it in Ohio.
mercsl65 7
Once the path is mowed you can't control who walks it
AtomicRebirth 11
No horse sounds? Chicks dig horses.
tkooker 6
And thats what makes him a booty call.. FYL.
dan_in_wi 12
duh, he was referring to you as a farm animal... probably won't be seeing him again... (and not by your choice).
ben827 10
Wait, I thought a booty call was when your ass dialed the phone... Is this a new phrase referring to phone sex?
osm1989_fml 6
That's butt dialing. A booty call is the call you make when you want to have no-strings-attached, meaningless sex with someone, or it can refer to the person to whom you make said call. However, I think you should continue to use the phrase "booty call" in the way you explained it, as I'm sure your friends find it very amusing. "I just made a booty call to my mom again!"
squishycat 6
Maybe you need to find a real man for a real relationship instead of a 'booty call', cuz obviously he's a freakin' loser.