Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, I accidentally mooed during sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting in the mood. I got on top of him, leaned down to kiss him, and he began to laugh. Puzzled, I asked him why. He told me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I reminded him of a cow, with "udders." Offended, I went to get off him. "No no!" he protested, "a SEXY cow." FML
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Top comments
poetrywriter12 6
Someone's one sheep short of a farm...
Pleonasm 36
Not very amoosing for you? You picked a baad choice for a bootycall then. You udder reconsider picking your partners without doing a baackground check, so that they don't pull the wool over your eyes like that again and leave you unsatisfied. Don't be the kind of Chick that clucks with foul cocks.
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Comments (107)
savage93 11
Did u milk him?
ziggystar69 3
Your a ****
Crimsos 4
And you're an idiot.
Bpwoods 6
And you're a troll commenter who is probably trying to be funny. What about it? Edit: damnit, 2nd time I've been beaten to a comment on one FML XD
Harpy20 24
You're* and maybe you shouldn't be so judgmental. There are lots of reasons people have booty calls, one of which being that she doesn't want to be a **** and would rather sleep with someone she's comfortable with, however just doesn't want a serious relationship.
Harpy20 24
Yeah the comment I was responding to said, "Your a ****." It seems to have vanished. :/
Harpy20 24
Vanishing comments!
savage93 11
I'll asume you meant to write on another comment
Harpy20 24
I did. And I even saw your out-of-thread moment which is now also gone. Hmm...
savage93 11
I know. Wierd right.
Snoopy0718 14
60- your picture goes well with your comment xD
savage93 11
I'll assume u meant to write on another comment Shit i meant to write on my thread
AnyaS 19
I'm surprised he was in a good mood laughing despite losing his erection.
naughtylez82 4
Am I the only one who found this humorous?
missrobynxx 3
Current booty call? What a *****
CallmeRyuzaki 0
Time to whip out your vibrator once again.
afropuffjake 9
That is one confident ************ if he thinks he can do that and expect you to come back... But like 1 said, very interesting person, if you happen to be looking for more than a booty call...?
bwzwally8 15
And on his farm he had a goat and a cow with a baaa there a moo moo there baa there moo there everywhere baa there.
sharpfeather 7
Damn furries...