Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex. With my stuffed turtle. On my bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I felt something tickling my neck. Thinking it was him, I ignored it. Just when I was about to climax, I looked down to see a lizard on me. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I was having some sexy time with my boyfriend, when suddenly he jumped out of the bed, screaming. Not having my glasses on, it took me few seconds to understand that a voyeurist cockroach was in the bed with us. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
incorporate them
Mirorbo 27
Save the sex for at home, darling. Or a hotel/motel room! Anywhere else and you're BEGGING for trouble!
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Comments (195)
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Well, what're you complaining about? This is Obviously your fault Op.
Quest_ 13
YDI for being - quite presumably - a pimply, apathetic, incompetent teenage employee fingering his girlfriend in the back room. Take a little pride in your work, you chump.
badmamajama123 0
he wasnt fingering her, he was ******* her. get it straight bitch
master_blaster 0
it looks like he takes a lot of pride in his work if by "girlfriend" he really means lizard. heheh
Quest_ 13
I got it straight from your sister, douchecake.
iSpasticFantasti 14
34 - God damn, I get it that a majority of teenagers aren't exactly helping me put in saying this, but come on, I'm a teenager and I'm not sex-driven and like hell I'd let some guy I'd known for a few months take my virginity! Christ! Some of us teens have morals and brains as well as a mature attitude. I have as little faith in teenagers as everyone else but man does it piss me off that there are some good kids out there that are judged just because of their age.
budbad8 0
funny
iSpasticFantasti 14
34 - God damn, I get it that a majority of teenagers aren't exactly helping me put in saying this, but come on, I'm a teenager and I'm not sex-driven and like hell I'd let some guy I'd known for a few months take my virginity! Christ! Some of us teens have morals and brains as well as a mature attitude. I have as little faith in teenagers as everyone else but man does it piss me off that there are some good kids out there that are judged just because of their age.
chaoticnh 0
salamander fuckhouse- a varying style from the alligator fuckhouse
marcyfrances 4
perhaps you shouldn't be doing this at work?????
OfficeNinja 5
what kind of pet store keeps animals (for sale, AKA "inventory") in a "janitors closet", where potentially toxic chemicals are stored? quit having imaginary sex with your imaginary girlfriend, get out, and try to meet actual people.
ethang1996 0
wait. why do you keep the salamanders in the janitors closet?
djmacncheeze 6
you're picture made this comment so much better
HomeAl0ne 20
Wait a second....
ethang1996 0
oh! you copier!
Meaningless 1
You should be fired.
mccutie396 0
asshole
coffeeandcream 8
I....would....FRRREEEEAAAAKKKK!
Nay12x 0
why are there salamanders in the janitors closet?