Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
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Top comments
Firewall_fml 0
Personally I read this and think "... So?" Shit at least your cool enough to practice first, rather than jump right into it and end up turning some poor fellas dongle into a teeth grated tragedy
kingdomhearts3 0
I'm pretty sure most girls haven't, and I'm pretty sure you're slowly climbing to the top of FML's "Sluttiest ****'s" list..keep going! Reach for the stars!!
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Comments (54)
ChartreusePony 0
I can't believe more people haven't echoed #14's remarks. Seems like common sense to me.
nanner6206 24
The practice involves learning to use lips and tongue without teeth tearing him to shreds
brodizzle 0
Just because you put it on with your mouth doesn't mean you keep using your mouth afterwards.
Jimmy_fml 0
so how far could you put the banana in your mouth?
circayouandme 0
I would die of laughter if was ur roommate! All in good fun, though!
babex21 0
hahahahhaha! eeeee
Luky_fml 0
if that was me walking in on you i woulda been like "hey you wanna try it on something more realistic?"
favabean05 0
It might not have been for giving head with a condom. It can be a real turn on for a guy for a girl to roll on a condom with her mouth before he bangs her.
podrummer9209 0
Lol.. uhm... @36, I dunno about you, but condoms aren't exactly easy to unroll sometimes, and I don't want teeth with that much force on my dick. Just my paranoia. @those bitching about homophobia.. I'm not a homophobe, but it IS unnatural. I accept them, as long as they don't try and do their thing with me...
fallchild007 0
#8 - what's wrong with that? and #7, hahahaa.
rawchelllll 0
Are you a guy or a girl...? Wow #33, harsh. But at the same time, yeah. Its your roommate. Laugh and get over it.