Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
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Top comments
wafflemonger 0
You're not retarded, but you do need to take yourself maybe a little less seriously. I mean, come on, that's hilarious. I had almost the same thing happen to me, but I just laughed.
potentpotable 0
#4: I thought it was a guy haha. Because it's not that special if it's a girl.
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Comments (51)
Timmytwofinger 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
fair play you must work hard to be that retarded.
wafflemonger 0
You're not retarded, but you do need to take yourself maybe a little less seriously. I mean, come on, that's hilarious. I had almost the same thing happen to me, but I just laughed.
TheOptimist 0
I agree. This is humorous, even if your a girl. And mind you, almost every female that was with you probably has an opinion on the taste of condoms.
potentpotable 0
#4: I thought it was a guy haha. Because it's not that special if it's a girl.
dinogorawr69 7
the authers name is Jen. I've never met a male named Jen.
insidejokeswithm 0
38- You're missing out! ;)
rawchelllll 0
Either way, saying that is pure bad timing. Good job.
lola_noone 0
i dont get this and everyone else does. fml.
My2864 1
you dont get it? she confessed to her friends she likes to suck dick.. geez this should br selfexplained
KrazyKatz3 26
Why would you suck dick with a condom on?
Boomi 39
You're not alone.
dani_fizzle 0
aha I don't get it either! :) "/
crazy_diva 0
That's what flavored ones are for ahahaha
prettygirlsonly 0
#8 hahahahahahaha dork
dylanmellark101 5
#11 shut up idiot
daffyduck69 0
# 8 how would someone know what a condom tastes like? Think about it
lotusgem 0
silly 12. safe sex silly!
HunterFalls13 0
Ahaha so true:D