Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML
Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
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Top comments
lostcrazydiamond 10
How old was your son that he didn't know what an analogy was, but he watches ****?
mpj13 8
Sounds like a pain in the ass
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Comments (87)
EnterFMLHere 17
You mean it's not??
whyistherumgone_ 10
Kids these days
madgrinchhatter 12
He's just spelling "anal orgy" wrong
Synapsky 10
Creampies are unhealthy. Bad parenting.
toalysium 15
YDI. Should've read to your kids more, not brought them to work on a porno set.
ElricMustang 23
Yes, because one can assume that's what OP did.
DKjazz 20
It's bring-your-kid-to-work-day at the **** studio. Poor kids.
TisAPenguin 16
1) Just because he knows what **** is doesn't mean he watches it. 2) If he does watch it, it doesn't matter how old he is. Kids have access to almost anything now. 3) There are middle-aged people who don't know simple English. Age has nothing to do with intelligence.
chris274 8
You anal, I anal, we anal, analogy, the study of anal.
saphire512 3
Did he think it was anal orgy?
ViviMage 40
Well, an analogy to his **** is "reverse on the grain chute!" FHL in English class!
stewpididiot 11
This reminds me of the doctor that had to explain to his patient that Analgesics are for headaches....