Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him, "Hey, I like your balls." FML
Today, I went bowling with my family. When my brother went up to buy a drink refill, the guy at the counter kindly refilled it for free and told him that he thought I was pretty. My dad laughed and shouted, "Pretty ugly!" FML
Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML
Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him, "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML
Today, I was bowling with a woman I like. At the end of the night, I was trying to decide whether I should ask her out. I went up to her and said, "It was fun bowling with you." She said, "Thank you, Patrick." My name isn't Patrick. FML
Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML
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Top comments
jollyme 19
He sounds awesome
HarshD9619 34
Old people are awesome
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Comments (79)
Tannasgh 22
Beahahahahahaha
Parp 7
I've just reached that age and grizzled appearance that I can now do this with impunity. It's immensely gratifying, especially since I am in stupidly good shape for an old fart, so I fat shame, food shame, vegan shame, hipster shame. And they can't find a come back quickly enough.. I feel like a god. And an attention seeking *******.
prized_loser 17
hit it and quit it
clkoko 14
As a bowler, I find this very amusing. He was very puny. I can spare you the details of all of the bowling puns I know.
queenklutzhere 6
bahahaha you have to admit, that is pretty clever.
dani07april06 3
thats actually hilarious. why the **** is this an FML
PuppiesKisses 19
Sounds a lot like my grandpa. Whenever he walked by girls on their knees stocking in the grocery store he told them to 'give it a little kiss.'
ohSNAPyall 27
Cheeky!
lit_liv 5
That was me
avengerofcrack 11
three fingers.. hmm sounds like those downriver girls