Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him, "Hey, I like your balls." FML
Today, I went bowling with my family. When my brother went up to buy a drink refill, the guy at the counter kindly refilled it for free and told him that he thought I was pretty. My dad laughed and shouted, "Pretty ugly!" FML
Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML
Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him, "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML
Today, I was bowling with a woman I like. At the end of the night, I was trying to decide whether I should ask her out. I went up to her and said, "It was fun bowling with you." She said, "Thank you, Patrick." My name isn't Patrick. FML
Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML
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Top comments
jollyme 19
He sounds awesome
HarshD9619 34
Old people are awesome
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Comments (79)
worldclassrager 41
I couldn't help but laugh...perhaps investing in your own bowling ball might not be a good idea if this keeps happening
freakinduck 6
Why is this an FML situation?
YooperTransplant 8
What's with all the people saying the old man sounds awesome? He sounds like a jackass. Hey, let's walk up to a random stranger, make fun of their physique, and imply that they treat women badly. What a riot! Dick.
Redgy22 26
Where did it say he made fun of op's physique? He was probably just lonely & looking to start a conversation with someone. Anyone. Sounds like it was just a joke. UNCLENCH...
Helldemon 32
Exactly, what he made "fun" of(aka a joke) was op going through several bowling balls and sticking his fingers into all of them.
tiredofwaiting 25
I love senior citizens.
zyero 9
Okay props to the old mans sense of humor that's hilarious
EbyKat 16
"Just your grand daughters"
imbedderdenu 23
baaahaaaaa awesome!
rgetting 24
If you were offended, get over yourself. Learn to smile at a harmless joke.
NYGiants1925 22
That's just hilarious
Witchylady 18
Wow, that was rather presumptuous of him. Whose to say you weren't going back for seconds.