Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him, "Hey, I like your balls." FML
Today, I went bowling with my family. When my brother went up to buy a drink refill, the guy at the counter kindly refilled it for free and told him that he thought I was pretty. My dad laughed and shouted, "Pretty ugly!" FML
Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML
Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him, "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML
Today, I was bowling with a woman I like. At the end of the night, I was trying to decide whether I should ask her out. I went up to her and said, "It was fun bowling with you." She said, "Thank you, Patrick." My name isn't Patrick. FML
Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML
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Top comments
jollyme 19
He sounds awesome
HarshD9619 34
Old people are awesome
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Comments (79)
HarshD9619 34
Old people are awesome
jollyme 19
He sounds awesome
jollyme 19
My grandfather once asked when I'm getting married because I'm starting to "look like an old cow" I'm 22. Gotta love old people
gamermonster 34
Not to be a creep or anything, but you look nice. (Don't worry, i'm not even 15 yet :p )
higgysaurus 18
when you have to say "not to be a creep or anything", its prolly just best to not say anything at all
0to100rq 6
Totally being a creep and everything, but I'd milk you. (Don't worry, I'm not even close to 15 anymore :p )
xTommytheGUNx 15
i like you #53
kalibos666 13
Word
Tripartita 45
Number
DoomSkuller 28
Letter
Kaalschneid 21
Note
deitcocaine 14
Symbol
TAntobella 14
Comma
Adeptus_Astartes 22
Speech
itsalanis 25
Essay
imStoneCold 7
Well, at least yours fingers don't look like prunes.
WinterChild 20
Love when old people just don't care anymore about what people think and say what they want. His life must be so amusing :)
8313girl 28
My dad does the same thing too but at least he says weird crazy stuff to people he knows. I think people get to a certain age where they have no filter and will say just about anything to unsuspecting people. I'll guess I'll lose my filter sooner or later. Here's to getting old! (Pass out whiskey shots!)
bustyou 15
Grand pa is that you ?
taterrtots 25
have some respect for those bowling ball holes!
imStoneCold 7
He's a keeper.
gosh_mate 30
Creepy grandpa strikes again haha