Today, I was bowling with a woman I like. At the end of the night, I was trying to decide whether I should ask her out. I went up to her and said, "It was fun bowling with you." She said, "Thank you, Patrick." My name isn't Patrick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML
Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML
Today, I've been seeing this girl for three months. After asking her if she'd like to go out to eat with me, I realized that she never called me by my name, just "hey you". While we were out, I wondered what she had me saved as, so I texted her when she got up to use the restroom. It was "free food". FML
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You are Patrick now, Patrick. You're not going to get that date by correcting people. You can fix the name thing at the right time. I'm thinking you could tell her your real name on your honeymoon.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Is it the Krusty Krab?
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
You are Patrick now, Patrick. You're not going to get that date by correcting people. You can fix the name thing at the right time. I'm thinking you could tell her your real name on your honeymoon.
Wadlaen 24
Or, the priest could tell her in the wedding...
Wadlaen 24
Or, the priest could tell her in the wedding...
Wadlaen 24
Or, the priest could tell her in the wedding...
RichardPencil 32
That might be too soon. Maybe she will be repulsed by his real name and bolt out of the church. He really needs to wait until the ink is dry and it would be difficult to get out of the marriage. You can be Patrick for a while, can't you, Patrick?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Is it the Krusty Krab?
EBrogen 12
Do names really matter if you're both naked?