Today, my cellphone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
Today, I seemingly misplaced my cell phone but didn't have time to look for it before work. This evening, my cell phone company calls me to tell me I have six hundred dollars worth of calls to El Salvador that I have to pay for. My cell phone was not misplaced, it was stolen. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML
Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML
Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need." After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML
Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML
Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML
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Top comments
naem 0
Did you cut anyone open today? It's probably in there
Sevenfold 0
wtf? How do you think someone stole it? You LOST it, idiot.
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Comments (128)
miss_california 0
this is really dumb "someone stole my phone and it can't have been anyone at work because they're all dead". so?
freddie_fml 0
Unless you're at work 24/7, the fact that you work in a morgue has nothing to do with anything. Your phone was obviously stolen during the time you weren't at work, moron.
AmoraLynn 6
actually I work 24 hour shifts at the Medical Examiner's office, which houses a morgue and there are investigators and deeners in and out during the day so someone could have picked it up. But in this case it sounds like it was just misplaced. And the morgue was mentioned to show that the dead people couldn't have taken it so the OP doesn't know what happened.
starberries 0
Even if you work 24-hour shifts, you do NOT work 24/7. You do not live at your job every minute of your life.
AmoraLynn 6
I'm well aware I don't work 24/7, I didn't say that I did. I was just making a point about the place of employment.
ithedarkknight 0
OK?
kevind23 0
Which means you lost it, dumbfuck.
americayay 0
agreed. all this is is an attempt to make "today i lost my phone" sound interesting. fail.
cactus_fml 0
I'm pretty sure the OP wouldn't post the part about working in a morge unless they had it on them when they started work and didn't have it when they left. In which case, FHL for losing his phone in a place full of dead people.
nevershoutmaith 0
.. i bet OP's going to find her phone at her house.. then she'll regret posting this.
ricockulous 0
well the other day my cousin was alone in her house (which is mad old) in her basement with her iPod next to her, and she put it on the floor by her feet, and she looked a few seconds after and it was gone, she checked everywhere. i even helped her look and it was no where we could see.
rayrayy_fml 0
So, just so we're clear- Your phone was stolen. You're employed with a morgue. And the dead bodies were not, in fact, the thieves responsible. That's like saying: "Today, the phone rang. No one was home, so the call couldn't have been from inside the house. FML"
Nightfallz 0
this is a horrible fml