Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML
Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML
Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly ate the last of it, looked up smiling and said, "Thanks!" The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Today, I told a cashier at a store, “You have such kind eyes.” She smiled, then pointed to the bagging station and said, “Those are my husband’s eyes, he’s right there.” I spent the next minute bagging my groceries in dead silence. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
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Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
Yikes. "Well, no, but you can have an extra helping of mashed potatoes instead.."
James64138 26
At least he doesn't want to eat them, along with the rest of your face...
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Comments (110)
firegirl1993 21
That's not creepy....
baygirl564 9
Certainly not...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Yes. Yes it is. ;P
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I tried to respond to another comment but it ended up here so I edited it to say this... Sorry for the annoying post :/
KrazieKleo 13
You're right it's not creepy. It's ******* beyond creepy... Yikes
Calyx_fml 22
Is that an upward duckface? I think so.
boating_guy 33
I think so too. And in spite of recognizing 2's sarcasm, I thumbed her down for that
vanessaizawesome 8
THAT IS BEYOND ****** CREEPY
Octain 13
I don't think it's creepy. I tell people the Same thing. Except, I tell them I'm going to to use their eyes for my own..
EvilLilCupcake 10
Jeepers creepers. Where did you get those eyes?!
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I thought it was "Where'd you get those peepers?" O_o
ReesieBanana21 12
Well? Can he?
janey123 0
Sarcasm
TheFamilyElf 17
Yikes. "Well, no, but you can have an extra helping of mashed potatoes instead.."
LolFMLnot 10
Well if your eyes go missing, we ll know who has them
7srodri1 8
Jeepers creepers.
william8691 10
Looks like someone has their "eyes" on you.
Dr0reos 8
Maybe hes an aspiring photographer and he wanted to take a picture of your beautiful eyes for a collection hes making.
James64138 26
At least he doesn't want to eat them, along with the rest of your face...
dubstep12 8
Bath salts!!!
randomstudios 0
What happens in Miami...
Sinamoi 18
Spreads like a wildfire across the media...
THExistentialist 13
I'm not one of the people with cable, just a good phone, but I keep hearing about a face being eaten in Florida, and a connection with bath salts (presumably the kind you buy in head shops with that fake-pot crap incense). DOES ANYONE CARE TO ENLIGHTEN THIS HERMIT AS TO WHAT THE **** IS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD WHILE I WASTE ALL MY TIME ON FML AND RAGE COMICS?
aylard 0
Haha xD
IPoopedOnU 12
A hobo was on bath salts and he and this other hobo like took off their clothes because they were high and then on hobo ate the other hobos face. And the police had to shoot the guy like 5 times before he died meaning the zombie apocalypse is real! So yah.
meggie10 0
Yeahh....that's when you become less touched and more creeped out.
TheFamilyElf 17
Yikes. "Well, no, but you can have an extra helping of mashed potatoes instead.."
TheFamilyElf 17
That awkward moment when I posted the same comment twice but don't know how to delete it thanks to a flub with the app... So I comment to make an even awkward-er apology. Uh, sorry.
thatnucca 36
Duck-facing chick pics are immature, but what he said was pretty extreme though... Sorry OP...
Jessj958 19
I think you have the wrong post dude
JoeSaysSsso 2
no, correct post, he is implying that duck faces deserve to get their eyes ripped out.
Jessj958 19
No read the post before this one
Aliicat16 9
It was obviously sarcasm. And I do agree that duck facing requires a payment of getting your eyes ripped out
Jessj958 19
I understand sarcasm but there is a post right before this one talking about his gf taking duck face pictures...so it seems like he commented on the wrong post. That's all I was saying considering this one had nothing to do with duck face and the one prior to this did.
Screwie 25
Yes he can, but only in pictures.
KZN02 18
My thoughts exactly
perdix 31
So, what was your answer? Organ donation is becoming very popular these days! Did you tell him you'll have to be dead before she can have them? Is he willing to help with that?
leprechaun23 15
DAMNIT PERDIX! I wanted to say something about organ donors :(
ohSNAPyall 27
OP responded that she only has eyes for him.
Mioko_fml 6
Take it as a compliment and say "I would like yours to be part of my collection too..." 8D...
JFurr 9
Thank you. Finally someone with a sense of humor. He was probably joking around. Laugh and say something witty back.
Jessj958 19
What a weirdo! That would freak me out big time. What is wrong with some people these days?
22cute 17
It's a movie reference. Not so weird. Check "The Crow" 1994 ...I'm surprised no one else gets that. It's a cult classic.
Jessj958 19
I've seen the movie before but it's been a while. But you do have to admit...if you haven't seen the movie, it would be a little creepy for some stranger to say that to you.
22cute 17
The movie was plenty creepy, actually. The woman did kill people & remove & keep their eyes. "I like the pretty lights." Still.... I would laugh if someone said that to me.