Where am I?

Daily grind

Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

You OK, dude?

Today, I got home from work after working 16 hours straight. I was naked on the toilet, just about to get in the shower, scrolling through my phone when I nodded off and FaceTimed someone by accident. FML

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

Ouch

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML