Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. Then one said to the other, "Nope, she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while holidaying in Greece, I approached a cute girl in a club and offered her a drink in Greek. She said, "No Greek!" and then called me an "ugly kiss-ass" in English, thinking I wouldn't understand. I'm Australian. FML
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MelTheGreat 23
Maybe you're better off being a mime.
superyoyo33 0
This is still a better love story than twilight.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (248)
MelTheGreat 23
Maybe you're better off being a mime.
shanemaximo 7
That happens to me from just seeing Australia on a map.
Idonebeenhad 17
This would be a perfect opportunity for marinus to come back and make a comment
blackheart24 10
What happens in Australia that makes the people there so hot?
KeyboardWarrior 10
There must be something in the water! ;)
taco_bender 12
The girls are tan and really hot. Plus they have that cute accent.
blackheart24 10
Agreed. Any Aussies out there wanna explain why you're so gorgeous??
scarletchamber 0
wait is op a girl
blackheart24 10
Why are people thumbing us down? We just know how to appreciate the finer things in life... I guess haters gonna hate.
KiraElayne_ 1
The sun must be what makes them so hot...
Link5794 18
Australia has dangers ranging from giant jellyfish to territorial, but hard to see snakes, to exploding trees. Yes, really, exploding trees.
ComTlancy 12
Being Australian, I'd say I'm in a position to explain this. Aussies love our sport and sun. That's what keeps us fit. Aussies don't much in life seriously so we're always up for a laugh. Also for some reason saying 'g'day mate' to foreigners makes them love us.
carmenm 6
Just happens :p
blackheart24 10
109- That makes sense. Do you guys have a shitload of junk food like we do in the states?
kirt_82 4
we don't have half as much junk food as USA does, and it's mostly not available 24hrs and it's much more expensive than your junk food
DarkSeekerX94446 14
Us Australians are sexy! I guess it just comes naturally. ;)
btchinsammy 0
Not to mention that you could die from just sitting on the toilet
linstar 13
I'm Australian and it still blows my mind that Americans/Canadians think our accent is hot! It's true though, that we have a much more laid back culture and a lot less junk food available to us. Can't confirm the exploding trees but we do have Drop Bears.
blackheart24 10
Do you guys think American accents are hot?
bnotverynice 2
I'm from Australia and half the people I know are total bogans lol
linstar 13
159 - no. Sorry.
ClassyCommando 13
I'm from New Zealand and we're better at rugby than you. :)
ComTlancy 12
For everyone who wants to see Aussie girls at their best/worst depending on your tastes, search "Super Soaker" by Bombs Away on YouTube.
AussieTroll 0
I'm Australian so I can say, no, not really. I am planning to go to USA some time soon, with an Aussie tan and accent what is my chance of getting a root? Aha
fmlx24life 0
Ba dum tss
bunniex1 11
I'm from america where we speak American :)
megladon 0
85 im australian and im definately not hot
aussie_girl86 1
Pity league's all that matters ;) lol
yayayaa 0
Woo go us Aussies !! But I am very excited to make my way to the U S of A very soon with my tanned skin and super skinny body =| haha
kirt_82 4
The American accent is definitely in my top 5 accents that make me weak in the knees :D I think our Aussie accent sounds so weird!
dustbunny10 0
The last time I spoke to an Aussie, I could barely look at him in the eyes. Aussie accent is definitely my top two along with NZ accent. Something about it is just so sexy. If an Aussie boy is a 5/10, with his accent, he automatically goes up to at a 7. just saying.... :P
so_what_fml 4
Totally agree with the accent getting okay looking guys into the 'hot' category, being British my top two accents are American and Australian, I don't understand how there are single guys in USA and australia with such great accents :/
OochenSnoochen 15
Nah no junk food here. Just a fish and chip shop owned by Jim.
marinus_fml 20
56 your wish is my command!
funnyfiona 0
A 1 in a million chance to meet a decent looking Australian!!!
NattyB123 8
I'm Australian and the British accent is my fave :) I don't understand though why people assume we're all tanned and skinny and hot... I'm pale as a Cullen and haven't worn a bikini since I was like 12.
HighGTurn 12
Damn that sucks :((
Made217 6
It does, doesn't it? It should be on FML or something...
HighGTurn 12
Why is this disliked? Haha
ant1078 7
Captain obvious = immediate thumbs down
Doxy 22
Luckily Lieutenant Sarcasm (aka 44) is here
HeartOfLead 24
To every commentor and any one who stumbles upon this comment, to save you from embarrasement, before you comment something typical, OP is a girl!
onlychildFTW 34
Smooth move buddy. Haha. But FYL. But Australian accents are very nice. I love them.
magnusb1 1
Buddy for a girl? Weirdo...
deviable 9
Nothin wrong with being a weirdo.
abbyabb 4
My Aussie friend's accent sounds brittish
ScaughtieHolden 11
Yay Rolls Royce Phantom! Oh and the reason they sound British is because Australia was founded by exiled British prisoners.
onlychildFTW 34
Not just a rolls Royce phantom. It's the phantom drop head coupe!
ComTlancy 12
Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!
peachesncreem 21
Don't worry OP, you aren't the only one that gets dumbfounded when you hear our accent. I asked a man for the time when I was in LA and he looked at me as if I was speaking alien. Took him a few minutes to blurt out "I think it's 7.." lol
peachesncreem 21
Don't worry OP, you aren't the only one that gets dumbfounded when you hear our accent. I asked a man for the time when I was in LA and he looked at me as if I was speaking alien. Took him a few minutes to blurt out "I think it's 7.." lol
ladyLALAA 29
We Australians are pretty sexy, just putting it out there.
shoopd 19
141/142 - I don't blame him. If you asked me that question I could only hope to answer with something as smooth as "Tuesday" then stupidly stand there.
MetallicaRules19 4
Australia is the best country :)
DaDezza244 31
British technically invaded Australia
deLongenator 4
I could see anybody in this situation.
Made217 6
I know this is off topic, but AvA is the shit!
deLongenator 4
It is my favorite band of all time. Thank you
kelsey_katie 17
I could definaetly see myself in this position. I'm already somewhat awkward... Add in some sexy Austrailians.... Yeah, it wouldn't end well-_-
twilightluvr101 4
@#187 your pic goes great with the new friendship that was just formed above you lol
TaylorLynn462 10
Awe, that sucks haha. FYL
LilMonster1826 0
Really?
TaylorLynn462 10
Yes, really.
Insane_Tea 15
Wow! Thanks for clearing that up. I had no idea!
ladyangel52 11
I'm Australian, just putting it out there ^.^
sparkrok 8
your also a cowardly dog. just putting that out there
sparkrok 8
You're* Dammit.
superyoyo33 0
This is still a better love story than twilight.
Urbanchiller 0
ANY story is better than twilight story.
blackheart24 10
My dog humping his blanket is a better love story than twilight.
Wicked361 8
And this saying is used too much for love stories.
writergirl23 19
Yeah his blanket doesn't have an expression. No expressions better than Gormless' and Square-Head's ones.
dlohoh978 8
Hey people that find this later: post something funny here so everyone can see it =}
onlychildFTW 34
Damn you and your 13 million points in temple run!! I've only got 5 million.
dlohoh978 8
Hehe;) thanks
kuges 0
U liv in boca Raton???!!!??
hellbilly205 17
I have 8 million lol but also i stopped playing
iDaniel525 8
There is nothing funny on this thread. Shut up. All of you.
LuckyTroll 6
Missed your chance lol
samtlr92 0
No one else noticed that he was called a "she" at the end by the girls as they walked away?
onlychildFTW 34
No one said the drop dead gorgeous australians were girls. They were most likely guys and she was the girl.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Yeah, the Aussie's were most likely male. I thought that they were girls up until the 'she' part. Something about the word beauty points to women. OP should have said handsome. Unless she's into that sort of thing.
samtlr92 0
The language used and the fact that Aussie guys rarely ask for directions indicates that the OPer is a guy.
samtlr92 0
Buttttt the name of the OP obviously shows that she is a girl. So yes I am an idiot
Blueglasscup 18
I donno... Have you ever heard someone call a man "drop dead gorgeous"?
Mauskau 36
OP's name is Jenna and they said she. Plus a guy would not say two guys are drop dead gorgeous. You can say it about guys if you're a girl though.
rallets 23
..cause theres no such thing as gays or lesbians...
Blueglasscup 18
Also beauty who calls a guy beautiful? Yeah 38's right OP probably ain't straight.
epicliz 5
Who said she had to be gay if the Aussies were females. She could have just been so shocked, that's all.
Mariebaz 11
No, when most girls see a really hot guy, we will call him gorgeous.
Eternal94 10
There nothing wrong calling a very hot handsome guy drop dead gorgeous.....
iKendall 3
Maybe she's lesbian? It's no ones business .
lefty619 6
Pointless arguement^
deLongenator 4
Learn to interpret things. Use context clues.
alexup24 13
raise up lights.
alexup24 13
at least one person will understand this!!!!
christiebaby578 9
Good eye might?
dlohoh978 8
Razor Blades! :D
linkinpark98 24
Now try saying: Well Oil Beef Hooked. :)