Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML
Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML
Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML
Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML
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Top comments
summerguy97 16
Even when cats are having fun they'll find a way to inadvertently ruin your life.
pandabrr 12
Please record him.
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Comments (178)
OzzMonster 10
Your cat needs a cape and a sidekick
Nyarlothatep 12
Get him a bird, and we have Bat-cat and Robin...
Kukua 5
Why not Catman and Robin?
jerryj 27
Because then we would have a stuffed cat and no more sidekick.
JhovannyA 7
Yes FYL to the expensive chandelier but I think you have an awesome kitty and an intelligent one. My two cats do nothing but eat, shit and sleep. They like water so they like to take baths but that is about it. >.
JMichael 26
And this is why I say cats are evil.
Gho5tk3y 17
Your cat is a badass lol that's YouTube worthy.
turdoblast 21
put that shit on YouTube and you can buy 10s of chandeliers
JanisEvans 10
Awesome cat is much better than a chandelier...
WhitneyAndGdrago 10
that sounds like an amazing cat
evalu8tor 12
The world is a cat toy
thepretender10 4
If you figured out how to film this...you would probably get so many you tube hits.
knoxxx 22
Time to start up a cat circus.