Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML
Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML
Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML
Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML
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Top comments
summerguy97 16
Even when cats are having fun they'll find a way to inadvertently ruin your life.
pandabrr 12
Please record him.
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Comments (178)
rflurry94 6
how does that even happen??!
josh_239 6
that's awsome! but sucks that your stuff was ruin. i wish my cat was like that! all he does is sleep -.-
evildemonchild 18
Lmao that sounds adorable. I have a cat but mine won't even come out of my bed :( (adopted her from pet store Wednesday)
graceinsheepwear 34
My cat hid on the top shelf of my closet for a month when I adopted her. She came around eventually. Hang in.
hatebreeder666_fml 13
YDI for saying asshat
Goblin182 27
Was this cat wearing a hat?
JKROB 16
all my cat does is eat and poo. when I try to pet her she hisses and tries to bite me. and I am terrified when I wake up with her on my stomachs glaring at me as if she would kill me if I moved.
lux0rd 18
He just wants to be ceiling cat.
Etweens96 25
Oh my god, your cats a genius!
DanielleinDC 34
Your cat is way too clever. Mine tries to sneak into the hall or will climb on shelves she knows I don't want her going. When my boyfriend stays over, he says she'll climb on the headboard (I have a bookcase headboard) and stare at him.
benmec 18
Hmmmm... You need cat insurance
graceinsheepwear 34
When mayhem strikes...