Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
Today, I thought I had fully patched up the hole in the wall near the stairs. I was proven wrong when I heard my cat screaming and hissing near it. The black cat who lives in my backyard decided to say hi, which my cat didn't take too kindly to. She absolutely whooped his ass. Not a fun thing to wake up to. FML
Today, at 2 a.m. I heard a noise coming from the living room. I thought somebody must be breaking in, so I had to save my cats. When I opened the door, all I could see was the only plant I owned, all over the room. The cats just greeted me with a friendly purr, like they were happy I was joining them in their sandbox. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Ugh, this happened to me once. I was just robbing somebody's house and could hear them freaking out upstairs. Fortunately, I was wearing my fursuit, so they mistook me for their cat.
Miss_Chevious 37
Sounds like an FML for the police guys who showed up. Today, some idiot called us in thinking he was getting robbed. The 'noises' he heard was his cat. FML
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Comments (65)
idefka 34
done* I was going to edit it but I exited from my app and now it won't let me.
LivToFail 28
Dont be such a pussy. Ok, ill leave now.
WarMachine68 24
Please do.
XxDanno316xX 27
thanks, 22
LivToFail 28
*closes door behind me* sorry, I forgot to close the door.
appletreee 30
Better be safe than sorry!
Iwannarock1 19
oh please. Wimp.
dcam13 19
lol when you own a cat I think you have to expect it to make noise every once in a while.
Cortezthe1st 23
That is one loud cat for you to think it was a cat burglar.
firefighter925 18
It's actually good that you did because your cat was probably planning your death anyways.
jimmer23 21
Time to stop pussyfooting around and get that cat under control, right meow!
R2Y2 22
Check out the source of the noise first?
Seabass_Chan 33
Fantastic idea! And if it happened to have been an armed burglar and OP unknowingly decided to confront them...?
Skycop_S 23
You would be the first to die in a horror film, #6
Badkarma4u 17
You watch too much TV. Chances of it being an armed burglar are slim. chances of that burglar sticking around after he realizes someone is home even slimmer. I realize it happens in one of every 3 movies, but real life is not that dramatic.
thisisthestupid 18
This happened to me exactly
Miss_Chevious 37
Sounds like an FML for the police guys who showed up. Today, some idiot called us in thinking he was getting robbed. The 'noises' he heard was his cat. FML
nix1993 41
If it had been in the UK they probably wouldn't even have shown up. Our neighbours were burgled a few months ago and they called the police while the burglars were still in the house. The operator told him there were no available units in the area and that they should stay quiet and not do anything, but when he said he'd stop them himself she immediately dispatched a miraculously available police car to their house. He lamped one of the burglars who was in his (thankfully empty) daughters room trying to steal her laptop and when the police showed up, surprise surprise they arrested him for assault, and the dude who was robbing them was only charged with trespassing because he didn't actually remove anything from the premises.
gobiteme2 34
She
RabbitOfAurora 28
#14 that didn't happen at all. Stop making crap up.
AC98 19
At least it wasn't a CATastrophe.... I'll let myself out
Tripartita 45
Ugh, this happened to me once. I was just robbing somebody's house and could hear them freaking out upstairs. Fortunately, I was wearing my fursuit, so they mistook me for their cat.
Metalslipp 15
You cat burglar! Cats are supposed to be sneaky, you failed.
cIouds 15
This made my day, haha.