Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML
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Top comments
pancakerocks 1
intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower
krustacea 1
I've done that.
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Comments (230)
Miss_Michaela 10
That kind of activity is not to be sniffed at.
margie2194 12
What in God's name?...
boydeee01 7
I bet it smelled like roses!.......covered in shit.
ZealIFeel 7
B.O. - Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice. Yes, I realize it's a girl.
Thatoneguy021 0
"Today, my owner sniffed me. Pleasurably. I'm an armpit and i haven't been washed in two days. FML"
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
^ No
freakinglaugher 10
Just don't have any armpit sex and I think you'll be good.
AnonymousTroll 2
My armpits smell like cheesesteak subs when I don't shower.
theten_fml 9
If I knew you I'd hose you down out in the yard!
AlwaysCracked 6
So I'm guessing they always smell like that 89?
princessbits 17
That's just ******* nasty
kyarush 10
Getting high on your own aroma? Your livin the life.
krustacea 1
I've done that.
genesisCCORE 3
Everyone have to admit that we did it atleast once in our lives.
ICATiger 13
It smell... beautiful....
123josie123 11
Hmm.. The smell of hard work and victory.
NiiTeH 7
*sniff*... Ahhhh!
nonamericandolla 6
I enjoy it too! No joke!
SoccerForTheWin 5
Very strange but true
jnytes3 0
Scrub
eurostar710 11
I totally did that the other day. No lie, my armpits smelled like some kind of Chinese chicken or something... Made me hungry...
magnetic_aura 26
Me too. I like my smell... But, I'm weird...
skyttlz 32
Ew?
DrMime 10
Back in me old country, armpit sniffing was used to determine the strongest male in the village, and subsequently: the right to mate. My advice is embrace the stench and wear it with pride! Who knows, maybe you'll attract a female!
iTrevor 5
What If OP isn't into girls..?
rawrspriinkleme0 0
88 - OP is a girl. lol.
stormchaser24 24
Take a shower and get out more. That is nasty. I hate this anti flood protection on here.
Shelbyyyyyyy 4
....pleasure? Thats so gross. Lol.
ICATiger 13
But it smells so .... beautiful....
lebronesque73091 12
C'mon now, that's pretty sad.
tellithowitis 13
Wait... Is that supposed to be wrong?? I smell my pitts all day, everyday, any day...
laxho5 2
I hope op passed out when they did this.
walkern1891 0
I'm sorry but that baby is crazy adorable
DontModMeDammit 10
Perfume de B.O.
sunsetsbetween56 3
Did you know the eau de toilette is French for toilet water, but the literal translation is perfume.
ChaosAngel17 14
@44 Actually the translation is parfum.
Savra_fml 17
And Cologne is a town in Germany. Another fun fact is that many counterfeit perfums contain urine....helps to preserve them.
pancakerocks 1
Some make up is made with bat guano. (bat poop)
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Actually you got that backwards, the literal translation for eau de toilette is "water of toilette" and the general translation is "perfume." When you have a literal translation you take each word and translate it. So for example, "le livre de francais" is "the book of French" whereas the general translation would be "French book."
raphanne_fml 33
#44 Yes, but here "toilette" doesn't mean "toilet" as in where you go when you have an urging business to do. "La toilette" is old French for "washing yourself". "LE toilette" or "LES toilettes" would be the French for "toilets".
belgium_fml 0
Actually, we say "la toilette" for "toilets" but otherwise, was you said is correct
Savra_fml 17
122, I could argue with you but then we would both be wrong. I think a French person would know best how to speak French, no? After all, you guys are speaking their language, so you are allowed to make mistakes.
raphanne_fml 33
It's true that French from Belgium is slightly different sometimes. For me it would sound odd to hear "la toilette", as it's something that some old people in France would say. But French is always different depending where you are.
Fruit_Dealer 9
I am savouring this moment... Ok done. Being french, I can correct some of you :D Truth is, when talking about toilets, there's only the plural form in french ("les" or "aux toilettes") saying "la" or "le" toilette are both mistakes. As for the other meaning, "toilette" is still used today when talking about washing oneself, and can be used to mean arranging oneself as well (example: brushing hair, applying creams, etc.)
raphanne_fml 33
#179 Bonjour! I'm French, and I live in France. French from France, French Canadian, or Belgium French are sometimes different. Saying "le toilette" or "la toilette" are not incorrect, "le toilette" is the object (yes, we can also say "les toilettes"), and "la toilette" is cleaning yourself, as we said. But it's considered a bit old to say it, at least in France, but maybe not in Québec. Sorry to bother everyone on this thread with this!
sunsetsbetween56 3
182: I like you!!!!
pancakerocks 1
intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower
WCARlover 35
I like smelling you after you shower too;p I mean what?
JacobWithaY 5
I like smelling DURING the shower o.O
sparkrok 8
it would appear 155 just ruined that...
Mkbitch 2
Did you gag and finally showered afterwards?
sicnesses 6
I did after reading it!!!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
@ wrwrestler8 -> Here's another thing though - we've gone from being clean to completely masking our natural scents. Scent is just as important as other senses when it comes to attraction in humans, as we are just another animal after all. In fact, I remember reading that people who find each other's body odor at least tolerable or even slightly pleasant are more likely to be romantically compatible. Don't get me wrong, of course personal hygiene is important - it's just something to think about. Even more so because of the fact that in other countries (as in, not America), people generally don't shower as often, and manage to do so without any noticeable bad smell.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
What the ****? That (43) was most definitely a reply to 18. Any chance of mods fixing it?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
God damn it, I meant 17. Arghh, the android app desperately needs an edit function!
pancakerocks 1
I feel like i have learned more from FML comments then i have from any other app.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
What the hell?! Now the numbers changed! Sorry for all the posts but just to be clear, wrwrestler8 is who I'm replying to, and it would be awesome if somehow my post could magically teleport to its intended rightful place. *wink wink*
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Yay! Thank you!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
@ wrwrestler8 -> I'd just like to point out that you're all lucky you have access to and can afford clean water to shower with whenever you like as often as you like. Most of the world does not have that privilege. Also, while evolutionary science can explain many characteristics of our behavior even today, there is such a thing as taking it farther than intended by nature. And no, none of us have the authority to say where to draw the line. We can only think about it and discuss it. For example, from an evolutiony standpoint, men favor hourglass figures and ample breasts. But what have we taken this to today? Plastic surgery, exaggerating this to cartoonish proportions, which need I remind you, men still do enjoy more than they care to admit. Of course, the case of showering is a bit different, but I'm just reminding everyone to give it some thought. Just because men/women favored being popular, rich, charismatic etc. does not mean we can overlook the drawbacks.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
WTF? I replied to the same person again, and it ended up up here, again! *cries* M-m-m-mods? I don't mean to annoy you, but....
tacozzbaby 5
Mhhm
Udderboy 4
We've all got weird fetishes
AlwaysCracked 6
Mine was so bad they couldn't even make it into a FML...
silentbutfunny 0
But if 2 people in the same room had the same wierd fetish... Wouldn't that make it normal?
sicnesses 6
That... Is.... Revolting... Take a shower