Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML
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Top comments
pancakerocks 1
intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower
krustacea 1
I've done that.
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Comments (230)
Savra_fml 17
At this time of the year in Queensland - the sunshine state! 2 days in that summer heat... you bring shame to Aussies.
art_of_troll 0
Then take a shower you ******* greaser.
ronski 41
I wouldn't want to after 2 days
beanybabe 13
Keep it that way for a few more days, and you'll have a trail of followers.
Akharr01 5
How is that pleasure and why dare sniff your own armpit after you KNOW you haven't had a shower??
jvmockingbird 0
That's just nasty
AllyyK 9
You're discusting. Take a shower! Noone likes BO.. I feel bad for the people around you :/
ohmandapants 17
"discusting"? "Noone"? Those aren't words. It's "disgusting" and "no one" is two words.
AllyyK 9
HAHA! Oh no my very first 'grammar nazi' attack! YAY! You know, since it was 2am when I wrote that comment I wasn't really paying attention to my spelling and I actually didn't give a shit if I spelled something wrong, as you can tell. You understood what I was saying right? So at 2am that's all that matters. So no need to spell it out for me like you're trying to teach me something. You're just wasting your own time by TRYING to be cool or whatever the reason for your pointless comment. You must think you're s0000 c00l! Well, just because you corrected my accidental mistake doesn't mean anything at all because you probably chose my post because that was the only thing you actually know how to spell out of all the other posts and spelling mistakes. It's okay though you tried! So MY BAD! Nice try though little girl :) Let's try this one '**** off bitch'. Is that correct? Did I make any other mistakes? Cause you know the only reason I'm here is for YOUR approval! By the way I don't take shit from anyone either ;) Bring on the thumbs down and those bad comments! :)
AllyyK 9
My rant of the day ^^ I needed to get my point across and I just don't rude bitches, as you can tell lol.
GoW_Chick 15
You know you shouldn't smell it, but the curiosity won over this time. Take a shower, you damn hippie.
Tanuis 3
I have done that..
EmmyBabe_fml 0
The **** is wrong with you?!
aleishaa_jadee 13
My thoughts exactly :/